Looks like all Gossip Girl needed was a little help from the ol' Captain himself (Captain Morgan that is). Okay, I don't really know what they were drinking at Blair's excellent bachelorette party, but whatever it was, it did the trick. The show made a quick recovery over last week's eh-worthy episode. I'm feeling myself actually being enticed by the plots and characters instead of thinking, "Can we get a move on here?" and "What are you doing on my TV screen?" And you guys, I actually laughed... out loud... like literally LOL. Thank you, drunk Blair Waldorf.
Louie's stepsister, Beatrice, comes back into town after hearing about Blair losing the baby and to offer B her condolences. It appears they've reconciled after all the conniving that Beatrice took part in in order to break the lovebirds up. Blair even made her a bridesmaid, which means she's coming to the bachelorette party. And yes, Beatrice, a "real, American bachelorette party." But all is not what it appears to be...
Blair makes her way over to a church to confess her sins to Father Cavalia, the same priest who will be presiding over her and Louie's nuptials. She admits to having feelings for Chuck while loving Louie. When Father Cavalia comes out of the booth, you can tell just by his devilish grin that he's definitely not good news. In fact, he's in cahoots with Beatrice, who together are trying to break up Blair and Louie in order to keep their place in the royal limelight. They plan to get Blair extremely intoxicated, rely on the saying "drunken words are sober thoughts" and have B publicly confess her hidden love for Chuck. Beatrice seemed reluctant of the situation.
At the not-so-stately party (it was at a bar, basically), the bride and her bridesmaids, minus Serena, delve into a game of "Guess Which One Of Blair's Exes Did This Super Secret Thing That Is Super Secret!" If someone gets one right, Blair takes a shot. If no one guesses it, everyone else takes a shot. Of course, because Blair nonchalantly exposes all these secrets to her priest, Beatrice knows every single answer, resulting in an extremely loaded Ms. Waldorf. Maybe it's because I'm in my college years, but I love drunk scenes. Any show (Parks and Recreation, Happy Endings, 30 Rock, Up All Night, Glee, etc.) that has its characters getting down with the A-L-C is completely all right in my eyes. Especially when it's someone as pristine as Blair Waldorf.
Both B's have a lovely pow-wow. Beatrice asks Blair, "Why are you marrying my brother when I know you are not in lov with him?" and a Drunk B replies, "I do love him. There might be some loves that seem bigger than others or more complicated or harder to let go of. But there's a reason they're not meant to be." Beatrice retorts, "But you cannot choose who you love." "But...you can choose how you love them. And there're some people you can only love by not being with them." Well put, Blair. Well put, indeed. This put to shame any hopes Beatrice had of pocketing any juicy revelations.
After deciding to get some fresh air (because God knows she needs it), some random girl asks Blair to hold her joint while she finds a light inside the bar. Coincidentally, two cops just happen to be walking by. Blair mistakes them as strippers ("Let's find out if you really are New York's finest.), and gives them the joint. This leads to her subsequent arrest ("Don't you know who I am?!").
Nate and Serena had their own little drama-filled story line. After being tipped off by Gossip Girl that Max (Ivy/Charlie's annoying ex) had something to do with the tampering of Blair and Chuck's limo (it was suppose to be Nate's), Nate shuts down Serena's new column on the NYSpectator in order to keep Gossip Girl coming with the details. This royally pisses off S and she throws up the column herself, and when Nate gets wind of it, he fires her while having this secretary video tape it and send to Gossip Girl. Nate lets Serena know that his own cousin Trip is behind the entire plot to hurt/kill Nate. Long story short, Serena goes to Trip herself and he confides in her, only to be bombarded by Nate and their grandfather. As it turns out, Trip paid Max to tinker with the brakes of the limo, but Max just took the money and ran instead of actually doing anything. This led to Trip having to do it himself and he unknowingly hampered with the wrong limo. Let's have a drink in celebration of this storyline being over! Oh, nevermind. Blair had enough for all of us.
SumOlogy: Blair got shwasted and confessed that Chuck isn't right for her. Trip was behind the plot against Nate. Everyone's in a good place, as is the show itself.
Grade: 8.5/10
Leftovers:
Something I didn't get to mention was Dan's little D-plot about his publishers wanting him to write a sequel to Inside instead of something he actually wants to write. Oh god, do we REALLY need another Inside-driven storyline? The first was boring enough.
I loved that Serena didn't want to end her and Dan's faux-but-not-really-faux romance. They're going to end up together. I see it on the horizon.
When is Charlie Rhodes/Ivy Dickens coming back? It's been two episodes and I already miss her.
Next week is the 100th episode/the Royal Wedding! Are you psyched or are you psyched? I'm medium psyched.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. I pressed the 'close' button on an elevator door when I saw a woman running to catch it." - Blair
"This game is kicking my ass." - Blair, after downing multiple shots
"Okay, so we shall have plenty of alcohol and many phallic party favors." - Beatrice
Serena: "B, you smell like a distillery."
Blair: "I had shots! They were fun! ...The first ten, anyway."
--
More Gossip Girl: Recaps | News | All TV Recaps | TVOlogy
Want to connect with other TV Ologists? Join the conversation over on My.Ology!
Follow Joey DeAngelis on Twitter: @joeydeangelis
