If Valve made a toothbrush, I'd probably buy it.
I can't help it--I'm just such a fan of the team's endlessly creative, indomitably zany offerings. I love cruising around Badwater Basin with my roommates as a Medic in Team Fortress 2. I'm all about singing "Still Alive" from Portal whenever Rock Band emerges from its hiding spot in the games closet. Valve just keeps adding to its neverending hit parade, and I'm eternally sitting on the curb with wide eyes and an evil grin.
I'm always on the lookout for news on all things Valve, so when I came across the following, I couldn't help but speculate. After all, I am the owner of the world's only functioning Speculatron, and trust me, you don't wanna let that thing get rusty. Here's the skinny:
"I can guarantee you people are going
to be surprised at stuff we do. That isn't going to stop any time soon.
I'm just laughing because... people will be shocked again," Valve boss
Gabe Newell told the latest issue of PC Gamer.
"We have three pretty big surprises in the next 12 months at least."
Not just one, but three big surprises? Stop it, Valve, this is already too much! No one, of course, knows for sure what exactly Newell means, but everyone's got a theory. Here's mine:
Big Surprise #1: Half-Life 2: Episode 3
We've been waiting on this one forever. Back in June, the rumor mill was convinced that Valve would be announcing the third episode at E3. The expo came and went and, sadly, no news about our favorite physicist. I don't know when Valve would want to get Half-Life news on the table, but "soon" would be a wise choice. I think Half-Life 2 may otherwise become a celebrated museum piece.
Big Surprise #2: Something related to DotA
Valve recently snagged the rights (and some of the personnel) for this massively popular Warcraft III mod, so it'd only follow that they're working on an adaptation of their own. The field of battle-arena games is pretty crowded right now, with both League of Legends and Heroes of Newerth fighting for dominance alongside the original Defense of the Ancients. Still, a product from Valve might shake things up just enough to allow a new challenger to enter the fray.
Big Surprise #3: Some crazy Portal 2 news
I bet this whole Portal 2 package is just gonna open up like the world's most dangerous, sentient Christmas present one of these days. What features have we yet to see? A level creator? Some sort of series crossover?
Speculate away, Geekologists!
