The Real Word: New Orleans recap: Season 24, episode 10 "Getting Down, Blowing Up" (9/1/10)
Water is wet. Grass is green. Everyone hates Ryan.
ERIC - It's amazing how much fun we have when Ryan's not involved.
Eric and Ryan make casual dinner plans, which Ryan completely disregards, taking the car and disappearing for hours. The roommates collectively debate the idea of staging an intervention of sorts, but settle on something simpler: a house meeting. Ryan is so very not down. Eric volunteers to hash it out, man to man. He really makes an effort to kindly relate to Ryan, while letting him know he needs to shape up. (SIDENOTE: Are Ryan's weird facial piercings copulating and reproducing?) The conversation seems to go well.
Ryan's brother and cousin, who for legal reasons go by Brother and Cousin, show up for a couple days to help Ryan celebrate his birthday. They both have similarly douchey hair. Knight tries, unsuccessfully, to extract info from Brother. Is this kind of behavior normal for Ryan - the smashing of heads into car windows and such? Brother is no help.
Eric brings a cute girl, Michelle, back to the house. She's in his bed, in his clothes, when Ryan bursts in, trying to get a number. Exactly whose number he's trying to procure is never certain, but that's beside the point, because Michelle is creeped out enough to go from DTF to bouncing on down the road. Wave goodbye, Eric.
ERIC - Ryan sucks. Ryan sucks so bad.
(SIDENOTE: Eric's new facial hair rules.) Brother and Cousin are making Eric's life a living hell with nonstop farting and body-piling. All three morons go out to celebrate Ryan's birthday and leave the car somewhere in the French Quarter. They don't know. They don't care. Eric and Preston are forced to trudge around for two hours the next day, searching for the car, which Ryan told them was parallel to the beach. Not so. Perpendicular. This inspires a neato (geometry?) lesson from Eric.
ERIC (using hands as visual aids) - Parallel, perpendicular. Parallel, perpendicular. Not the same.
Eric's getting mad. Madder and madder. Twirling spheres in his hand a la Humphrey Bogart in The Caine Mutiny.
RYAN - The roommates want to hate me regardless, so I might as well be annoying and crazy. It's like, why not?
Ryan puts poetry into motion by ringing the doorbell and yelling at the top of his lungs at 2:10 am. Eric explodes. The car. The cockblock. He's fuming. He could destroy Ryan with his pinky alone.
ERIC - You're a terrible roommate.
RYAN - Oh really? I don't give a f*ck.
The roommates try another tactic, scheduling a prescription medication abuse information meeting with a psychotherapist. Ryan shows up late, a beer in his hand.
JEMMYE - I look over and Ryan is playing Tic-Tac-Toe with himself and losing.
They've had enough. Homeboy needs to GTFO. That evening, the roommates demand Ryan attend a house meeting. He freaks out. He doesn't want to.
ERIC - Why do you think everyone wants you out of the house? Do you think it's because we just don't like you?
SAHAR - We all feel that you can be extremely inconsiderate to people's emotions.
Ryan chooses the well-worn pee pee toothbrush defense and denies the rubbing of Preston's cigarettes on his anus. He blames Knight (in earshot) for spreading vicious rumors. Enter Knight.
KNIGHT - I will knock you the f*ck out. I will kill you. You lie to everybody here.
At this point, the roommates flat out tell him to pack his bags and hit the bricks. Amazingly, he eventually complies. It should feel like a victory, but at this point, I feel like the housemates - traumatized and exhausted. If anything positive can be extracted from this entire situation, it's the reassurance that this group of partying youngsters had the wherewithal and integrity to deal with a horrid situation in the most mature way(s) possible.
Oh, Preston is official with Marty! Yay!
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