Big Brother 12... What a season it's been.
And don't just take my word for it. Big Brother is kicking *ss in ratings. The Nielsen Co. says the CBS reality show is averaging 7.6 million viewers for its three weekly episodes, a 6 percent increase from last summer's 7.2 million average. Last week all three episodes finished among Nielsen's top 12 most-watched shows. The only show on Fox to reach that many viewers was an exhibition football game, and the only show on ABC was Wipeout. Not only that, but Entertainment Weekly recently put Big Brother atop its "Must List," calling the show "as addictively silly as ever."
And how. It's hard to remember a time when I didn't need Big Brother like Ray Charles needed whatever Ray Charles was addicted to. My roommate was the one who got me hooked, exposing me to the entirety of season 11 in ONE NIGHT (thank you, former unemployment). But as great as season 11 was (holla at me, Jordan), season 12 blows it completely out of the water. The ups, the downs, the personalities, the romances, the bromances, the alliances, the confrontations... it all adds up to one of the most engaging, enraging, and purely entertaining seasons of television I've ever seen and rigorously covered.
So join me as we look both back and forward. It's gonna be a hell of a ride. In order of Big Brother eviction...
ANNIE
What a basket of fail. The first Saboteur, the first to go, and the first indication that The Brigade actually knew what it was doing. She was pretty hot, wasn't she?
MONET
No big loss here, although she was briefly amusing as Britney's partner-in-mocking Rachel.
ANDREW
Good riddance. This guy did nothing but whine and reinforce negative Jewish stereotypes.
KRISTEN
Everyone thought she was smokin', but I just don't see it. She looks like a friggin' cat. And her attempts to conceal her showmance with Hayden were feeble at best.
RACHEL
::deep breath:: In lieu of the standard derisive proclamations, I'm going to go out on a limb and declare that, despite who wins, this season was entirely Rachel's. Her despicable persona continues to flat-out dominate the house weeks after her eviction. What did Brendon ever see in her (despite the obvious)? The world will never know.
KATHY
This one really grew on me. Though daft till the last, Kathy showed her grit when Rachel made it her mission to wring an undeserved apology out of the busty sheriff. Although Ragan channeled our collective rage, it was Kathy who took the high road and earned everyone's respect in the process.
MATT
I cannot believe he didn't make it to the Final Five. Honestly, I was hoping he'd go all the way. He certainly deserved it. Matt treated Big Brother like what it really is... A GAME. He worked all the angles, constantly restrategized, and busting out that Diamond PoV? Classic. In the end, though, it seems this self-proclaimed genius was a little too smart for his own good. Adios, compadre.
BRENDON
A multifaceted guy to say the least. Equal parts boneheaded and brilliant, this neanderthal savant fell hard for Rachel early on, yet proved a worthy competitor after her departure.
Which brings us to the Final Five...
ENZO, HAYDEN, LANE, BRITNEY, and RAGAN. Three Brigade members (incredible), a girl, and a gay. On the block are Ragan - the target, and Enzo - the pawn.
WHO SHOULD WIN:
RAGAN
Though initially grating, Ragan has become the show's scrappy underdog. He's played with heart, he's played with smarts. Loyal to his friends, great at endurance competitions, and still the only house-guest to properly put Rachel in her place.
WHO WILL WIN (PROBS):
HAYDEN
Hayden is like the perfect Big Brother contestant created in a secret underground lab. Smart, but not alienating. Kind, but not fawning. Cunning, but never ruthless. Just nonthreatening enough to slide under everyone's radar, Hayden is almost certainly destined for a cool half a mill.
But like Julie Chen always reminds us, this is Big Brother - anything can happen. Tune in to CBS Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays at 8/7c to watch the drama unfold, and be sure not to miss the season finale on September 15. I'm already getting psyched for Big Brother 13. All day, baby, all day!
