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'True Blood' Recap: "What The Authority Wants"

Emily Cheever
True Blood
True Blood
1 Comments

Hey guys, let's talk about last night's episode of True Blood. "What The Authority Wants" was yet another episode filled with "What the f*ck?"'s and "Ugh, shut up Sookie."'s. Let's dive into this.

| Related: Last Week's "Turn! Turn! Turn!" Recap |

Basically, I'm getting really tired of Sookie's shit. I'm not alone here, right? So she lets Lafayette do everything while she just stands back and gawks at the fact Tara's a f*cking crazy vampire. "Hey, Laaahhfaaayette, you should get 'er some TruBlood. I'am not getting neahr herr" or "Hey, Laaahhfaaayette, go cut yerself in front of her while I attack her from behiind." For once, I'd like to see this girl take care of herself without f*cking anyone or getting into more trouble than she's actually worth. Plus, it was probably a good idea that Lafayette wanted to kill Tara. As a human she was crying all the time and as a vampire she's totally psycho.

Meanwhile, checking in with (Vampire)Bill and Eric: they're being kept prisoner by the Authority. Honestly, I don't understand why they're in that much trouble. They saved the vamps from necromancers and killed that blonde chick that was on her way out anyway. The Authority seems to think that these boys are involved with the fanatical Sanguinists who believe that humans are only good for food. It's actually all in the Vampire Bible (couldn't they think of a better title?). This is honestly the most enjoyable part of the show so far because a) their methods of torture are completely barbaric, b) the mythology is actually intriguing, c) Dude, is Lilith locked behind that door in their conference room? and d) Chris Meloni humped a fridge once and now he's a super vamp.

 

Anyway, Bill and Eric promise that they'll find Russell in return for their lives.  You know, if they just killed that guy in the first place...ugh, idiots.

Oh and by the way, when Sookie was prepping her house in defense against Russell, did she talk to the dude from Pete & Pete?

 

Confirm or deny, Hollywood!

We also got a bit of a backstory from Pam. I'm loving Pam this season. She misses Eric so much and cries tears of blood all over the place for him. And of course she was a madam in San Francisco. She would probably be the best madam of all time.

On the Alcide side/Sam side, nobody cares. Luna's being a bad person by going all psycho on Sam and werewolves eat their pack leader when he's dead. So now Luna's shitty kid is a werewolf. 

Overall, I'd say it was an OK episode, but I'm really excited to get this Authority ball rolling. 

SumOlogy: I don't trust that Nora bitch.

Grade: B-


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Comments (1)

victoria profile picture
victoria sebring: Sookie always annoyed the $hit out of me... i'm glad other people are starting to realize - she sucks!
June 20, 2012