UPDATE: So, Meek Mill says he didn't do it: "Naw we just getting money! RT : Me and ain't on that bullsh*t. Real respect Real....Stop tryna blame da bullsh*t on me...I was just there like everybody else..."
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So, this whole Chris Brown against Drake's entourage bar brawl continues to earn more media attention than it probably deserves, mostly in the area of speculations that it was over Rihanna, which it wasn't, but a slice (no pun on the state of Chris Brown's face) of update has caught my attention, and I'm mostly posting it for the hilarity.
| Related: 25 Non-Rihanna Things Chris Brown And Drake Probably Fought About Last Night |
So it goes, MMG member and recent riser Meek Mill was a core piece of the scuffle, throwing a bottle at Chris Brown, thus leading to the tear on his chin.
| Related: Listen Up: The Most Biased Review Of Chris Brown's Newest Song, "Calypso" |
Now, rather than running into the boring relays shat from Roscoe Dash's mouth on Twitter, I'd rather like to ponder exactly what type of bottle Meek Mill threw, so we'll do that.
1. Louis XIII de Rémy Martin
If you're going to hit somebody with a liquor bottle, do it royally, because there's a difference between getting hit by a regular liquor bottle, and getting hit by a liquor bottle that costs $8000. Make it count.
2. Milwaukee's Best Ice
...because when you drink this sh*t, you have to throw the bottle, otherwise you're not drinking it correctly...
...yeah, it's not liquor. F*ck off...
3. Green Geisha Wasabi-Flavored Vodka
Here's a scenario I'm imagining: someone hands Meek Mill a slug of this stuff, him not knowing what it is, and he throws back a bottle shot, thus leading to wasabi-induced convulsions. Suddenly, a fight breaks out, Meek Mill being caught in the middle, but that doesn't matter. He only wants to get rid of this vodka, so he pitches the bottle across the room, thus striking Chris Brown in the face, and killing two birds with one stone.
I'd throw that sh*t. I'd throw it even if it was free.
4. Jeppson's Malört
Here's the explanation straight from the bottle: "Most first-time drinkers of Jeppson Malort reject our liquor...Our liquor is rugged and unrelenting (even brutal) to the palate..." Sometimes, it is not the mind or instinct, but divinity that forces the motions, and sometimes that divinity aims for Chris Brown.
5. St. Ides
This is just really sh*tty, and I figured it would be very "hip-hop" to throw it at someone.
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