Wow, where did the time go? I can’t believe there are only ten guys left; my favorites are definitely Sean, Arie, and Doug- but I do like watching Ryan just for his fun shenanigans.
OBLIGATORY RICKI MONTAGE TO START. I wish they’d stop pretending like Emily spends all of this time with her daughter when she spends fifty times that with her tongue down Arie’s esophagus. And that’s not even me bring spiteful; who wouldn’t want their tongue all over Arie?
Shot of Alejandro while Chris explains what London is to the boys. I’m still shocked he’s made it farther than guys like Charlie, and still hasn’t gotten a solo date with Emily. I’m still thinking he’s dead weight, but what if he gets this week’s solo date?
Sean gets his first solo date with Emily (LOLZ SORRY ALEJANDRO)! Thank God! And it’s about time: he’s won challenges, he’s a good lookin’ bro, he’s got FAITH! She clearly has the hots for him, she clearly should, and if anyone’s going to challenge Arie, it’s the 6’1” blonde with the charming smile and rippling abs. Kalon is not pleased about this and thinks we care.
Sean and Emily take a tour of London and HOW IN THE HELL AREN’T THEY PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER?! But why hasn’t Sean been on a date in FOREVERDOM? He claims that he just hasn’t found the right girl, but I don’t know… I feel like he might be hiding something. But Emily is smitten enough, and it’s so nice watching her go on a date with a man’s man, not a douchebag like Ryan or a suckup like Jef. Sean makes a speech about love in the middle of freaking London and IT. IS. THE. GREATEST. THING. I. HAVE. EVER. SEEN. IN. MY. LIFE. Sean doesn’t seem to have much to say, but when he does speak, it’s pretty much a panty soak fest.
Kalon sort-of calls out Emily for bringing Ricki along. Arie and Jef get judg-y. This won’t end well.
Sean and Emily have dinner in a prison, and I missed the part where this was romantic. Emily threatens to chop Sean’s head off if he doesn’t behave, and again, I missed the part where this was romantic. Sean tells Emily that today was the best day that Sean ever had in his life, and honestly, I’m confused; Sean must not have had that may great days in his life. Emily still gushes about how perfect he is, and although I was really excited about this date beforehand, I find it strange that he doesn’t have any edges to him. But I don’t want him to go home yet, so I’m fine with him getting the rose. They smooch a bunch, and they don’t look like the greatest kissers ever, but if she’s happy, I’m happy.
Chris, Arie, Ryan, Doug, Alejandro, Travis, John, and Kalon are all on the group date, which pisses off Kalon even more, as it ostensibly means that Jef’s getting the final solo date for the week. The challenge on the boys’ date is to re-enact scenes from Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet. Doug is really not okay with this, and Arie hates acting! I’m gonna need my other two favorites to step their game up! We can’t lose this to Ryan- I refuse!
The boys unanimously suck at this sort of thing, but they’re all weirdly charming about it, especially Travis. Alejandro, John, Ryan, and Kalon win the parts of Romeo, and the rest of the boys get to portray the nurses, which gives more opportunities for sad-faced Arie. Kalon is pissed as usual, but this time it’s at the fact that Ryan’s his competition. He shoos Emily away and Emily’s like OH NO YOU DI-INT! Kalon is indeed way too uptight, and I don’t know why she’s kept him around all this time.
Now the boys get the added bonus of performing in front of an audience, and it’s Arie’s worst nightmare. Kalon take things way too seriously, but Doug kisses Wolf and I love everything about it. I’m not sure why Arie was so stressed, because he was hilarious as the nurse. Emily totally gets a ladyboner seeing Arie as a lady!
Ryan kisses Emily as Romeo, and then totally steals a second kiss! I hate to say this, but that kiss looked hot. I still think Ryan can be a total suckbag, but he’s got more edge than Sean, and his ass-y statements make him weirdly interesting, whereas Kalon’s just make him terrible.
It’s dinner time, but not before Arie and Ryan steal some smoochin’ time. Well, Arie makes out with Emily for free. Ryan gets Emily a gift in order to buy her affections. While Ryan is with Emily, Charlie tattles to Arie about Kalon, and in turn, they both wrangle all the boys to discuss Kalon’s fate. The boys approach Kalon about what he said and Kalon’s like YUP SAID IT DON’T CARE and everyone else is like CRUCIFY HIM! CRUCIFY HIM! and Doug runs to tell Emily the truth. Holy sh*t, Emily is pissed, and can barely control her anger towards what Kalon said, but she really wants to go “backwoods hoodrat” on “his ass”. Hey, that is exactly what she said.
Emily gives Kalon the serious business, giving him back the LET ME FINISH line he served her a few weeks ago before dismissing him. She’s disappointed most of all because Kalon’s mom was a single mother, yet he can’t respect Emily’s love for her daughter by not calling it “baggage”.
Emily storms off pissed, and slightly annoyed that no one came to her defense, and lets the guys know that before deciding the not give out the rose.
More obligatory Ricki time, except Emily is sad about boys. Meh.
Jef is so freaking excited about his solo date with Emily, and I’m intrigued: Jef has never rubbed me the wrong way, but he’s certainly not as bold of a personality when it comes to standing out against the alpha males in the class. They have a crash course in etiquette for their date and wind up really hating it, so they ditch. While they have fish and chips, Jef comes clean about The Kalon Experience and how he was the one that Kalon said those mean things to, and paints a pretty good picture about how awesome he was. They have desert and drinks in the London Eye, and while Emily is definitely feelin’ his junk, she’s worried that he takes things even slower than she does. I agree: Jef is very nice, but he’s leagues behind Arie or Doug or even Ryan, and I don’t see his maturity level fitting Emily’s life. He claims that he wants to be Emily’s “best friend”, and I completely feel like he just eliminated himself. Who says that? He gets the rose for tonight, but he really did just hurt his chances by possibly placing himself in the friend zone.
Jef super wants to kiss Emily as they exit, and he asks all politely about kissing her and it’s kind of cute. I’ll give him that much, and he’s all swept away, confessing about fairy tales and sonnets. I still sense that Emily is not feelin’ him that much.
Before the last elimination, Emily interrogates everyone about The Kalon Experience, and Travis and John are pretty intimidated by her questioning. Jef basically asserts that he doesn’t want to spend time talking about other people when they have so little time together and she’s a grown ass woman who can handle her own, and it kind of shuts her up.
Ryan performs even more Shakespeare for Emily; I don’t know what it is about him but it makes me like him more and more, and it’s the same for her. He’s got charm, and it’s working, despite the fact that his brutal honestly is definitely going to be the death of him. Sean steals her for more smooches and she feels tiny and safe in his big strong arms: Sean was turned on by her sassy edge in dismissing Kalon, and Emily is turned on by Sean being a freaking gift from God.
Okay, so one more guy is headed home tonight, and you figure it has to be Alejandro, right? He’s literally the only person who got ZERO screen time the entire episode, not to mention the entire damn season. For some inexplicable reason, they bring the last two down to Arie and Alejandro, as if there was a reason that Alejandro who has never talked to Emily once was going to get a rose over Arie. Alejandro is nearly crying on his ride back to America, and these are just stunts and shows. This is a joke. Now that he’s gone, the real competition begins.
What did you think? Did the right guy head home? Let us know in the comments!
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