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• Created by: Bison Messink
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Jerry commented on Will DadBoner Defend Guy Fieri After Cruel New York Times Restaurant Review?:
“no comment”
November 22, 2012

Bison posted in DadBoner
Will DadBoner Defend Guy Fieri After Cruel New York Times Restaurant Review?
I guess some people don't appreciate the Bold Flavor Lifestyle, you guys. The New York Times printed a classless review of Guy Fieri's new NYC restaurant today, and the Twittersphere is calling on Karl Welzein, a.k.a. DadBoner for a response. Last we heard from Welzein, he and Dave were hiding in the john with the lights turned off and some ranch corn nuts for provisions, after the landlord discovered that Crazy Cooter and his friends had ruined "Club Karl" next door by having deviant carnal relations and going number two in the bathtub. Will Guy Fieri's biggest fan and possible future business partner come out of stick up for Guy's honor, and for Bold Flavor men everywhere? We can only hope, you guys. Here's more,
Read More
November 14, 2012

Bison posted in DadBoner
DadBoner Put His Resume On Craigslist
DadBoner a.k.a. Karl Welzein got canned from his job recently, after Nosey Lady found him passed out on the floor of the lady's john when he had some kind of seizure situaish with a bad batch of BL 'Nums. So Karl has been living the "All Freedom Lifestyle," making merry with Dave and Crazy Cooter, but even a Bad Boy has to earn some bread, somehow. So DadBoner has put his rezz (resume, if you still speak square) up on Craigslist, and he's sure to get some hot leads on it real soon. Under his employment history he lists Owner/Operator/CEO of Captain Karl's Pizza Ship (Keepin' the celebraish goin' 24/7 -365 with specials like "buy 11 get the 12th free top shelf margs" and "Cheetos on anything for an extra dollar"), President and CEO, DJ, The works, really of Bad Boy City USA Entertainment (Blar...
Read More
November 2, 2012


Bison posted in DadBoner
Guy Who Might Be DadBoner's Roommate Dave
We don't know much about DadBoner's roommate Dave, except that he's a no-class corncob who leaches onto Karl and ruins all of his best plans by doin'things like beefin' in front of babes. But here' another best guess as to what Dave might look like. Check out more of Guys Who Might Be Dave, and post your own Daves in our DadBoner Ology.
Read More
October 24, 2012

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Guys Who Might Be DadBoner's Roommate Dave

Bison Messink
DadBoner
1 Comments

Yes, that's John Kruk. Pretty good match, huh?

Of course, even the slovenly Kruk is way classier than Dave could ever imagine, but I think there's a pretty strong resemblence.

Consider what Orioles manager Buck Showalter, who used to work with Krukie at ESPN, had to say about Kruk.

"Have you seen the rigors of ESPN at 3 o'clock in the morning when a guy blows a save on the west coast and you have to stick around for another two hours? And then try to go through the Taco Bell with John Kruk? That ain't fun. I mean, basically, we don't have any taco salad back there with John Kruk. Everybody should, at some point in their life, you wanna think about tough times, is being around him at 2 o'clock in the morning when he's hungry. That's not good."

See The Whole Guys Who Might Be Dave Series

Also, did you know that in the late 80s Kruk had a roommate named Roy Plummer who Krukie partied pretty hard with, and who always picked up the tab because he was secretly moonlighting as an armed robber? Pretty awesome.

You know, maybe Kruk is actually a lot closer to DadBoner himself than he is to DadBoner's roommate Dave, but I don't know how official any of this really is, anyway. Here's a shot of Kruk cleaned up for the golf course, but still looking pretty DadBonerish. This was presumably taken at the beginning of the round, before he got bombed.

John Kruk Golf

Every week day we post photos of guys who might be DadBoner's roommate Dave in our DadBoner Ology. Check out the whole series, and post your own.

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Comments (1)

Stephanie profile picture
Stephanie Webber: nom nom nom.
June 8, 2012

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