Not that you'd know by looking at him, but Mr. Prince Rogers Nelson (better to known to fans, critics, The Revolution, the Library of Congress and super models everywhere simply by his first name) turns 54 years young today. One of the few true musical geniuses of our time, Prince has reinvented, cut up, torn out and revolutionized pop, R&B, soul, rock, funk, dance music and hip-hop in just about every conceivable way—all the while remaining creatively independent, perpetually soulful and eternally cool.
As much as I'd love to share a massive YouTube retrospective compiling a hundred or two choice Prince classics, as you might have noticed, The Kid is a bit particular about his image, voice and likeness appearing online. So, instead, let's take a look back at Prince's other major contribution to pop culture: his three so-bad-they're-completely-amazing theatrical feature films.
For your nostalgic pleasure, here are 15 of our favorite Purple Rain, Under The Cherry Moon and Graffiti Bridge lines, taken completely out of context because, you know, they're much better that way. Insert Morris Day laugh here...
"PITS!!!" – Under The Cherry Moon
"God got Wendy's periods reversed. About every 28 days she starts acting nice. Lasts about a weekend." – Purple Rain
"I don't need friends! I'm my own man, just like Liberace!" – Under The Cherry Moon
"It's all about the pimp sandwich tonight!" – Graffiti Bridge
"It's a full moon and I'm a werewolf, bitch. Kiss my ass!" – Under The Cherry Moon
"Don't get my seat all wet." – Purple Rain
"He's not a man. He's a gigolo. Do you know what a gigolo is? It's a fancy word for whore!" – Under The Cherry Moon
"Your lips would make a lollipop too happy." – Purple Rain
"Maybe if you loosen your chastity belt, you could breathe a little mo' betta!" – Under The Cherry Moon
"Let's have some action! Let's have some asses wigglin'... I want some perfection!" – Purple Rain
"That's Morris Day! He'd like to eat yo-- I mean, meet you." – Graffiti Bridge
"Listen to me! You come home, when I say come home. You've got no business, in the streets!" – Purple Rain
"I want a girl who's smart, a girl who can teach me things. I hate stupid women. You know why? You marry a stupid girl, you have stupid kids. You don't believe me? Follow a stupid kid home and see if somebody stupid don't answer the door." – Under The Cherry Moon
"Morris! Don't be afraid. Battle me! You and your crew can whup ours, you take the club. Lock, keys and all. If not, it's mine. Down?" – Graffiti Bridge
"Wrecka stow." – Under The Cherry Moon
Happy Birthday, Prince! May U live 2 see the dawn…
Have a favorite Prince cinema gem? Let us know in the comments section below.
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Follow Brett Warner on Twitter: @Erasurehead
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