Look, Amnesty International isn't saying you shouldn't go to the European Championships in Poland and Ukraine if you happen to be a gay soccer fan; they're just saying, you know, don't be so goddamned gay if you choose to go, because you might get your ass beat.
Amnesty International isn't the one to blame here, of course, but their apprehension over the socio-political situation in Ukraine highlights the sort of unrest and corruption that could mar the Euros this summer. Typically these fears end up unfounded, as was the case during World Cup 2010 in South Africa, but it's easy to keep the lid on your human rights violations for a month while the world has a microscope on you. Ukraine has come under fire recently for their rampant police corruption, racism, homophobia AND politically motivated imprisonment! Homophobia in particular has been an issue, with a recent gay pride march canceled over safety concerns and the march's organizer beat up by some thugs. It sounds like a lovely place.
Fellow Guggenheim Sportswriters Collective member Bison Messink points out that hosting these major international tournaments is a good way to bring international attention to your human rights atrocities. What sucks about that, though, is how the nature of these tournaments -- they're for entertainment and a relatively benign sense of national pride, after all -- tends to bury the lede on the human rights violations. A proposed boycott of Ukraine (over opposition leader Yulia Tymoshenko's imprisonment) never materialized fully, in part, I think, because there's a sense that politics and sports shoulnd't mix. No one wants to ruin the fun.
This is in stark contrast to the Cold War era, of course, when major tournaments were regularly boycotted. While those boycotts were more politically motivated, it shows a strong lack of conviction that it's left largely to journalists, independent of political ties, to highlight violations of host nations.
With that in mind, here's a guide to being a soccer fan in Ukraine during Euro 2012. Just a couple of guidelines, not hard-and-fast rules.
1) Try not to be a color other than white. Ukrainians tend not to like that.
2) If you're Jewish, try not to advertise it.
3) You can be gay, but don't do anything overtly gay. Think like a Roman Catholic on this one. For example, try not to ask any strangers if they have a registered account on manjam.com.
4) If you're white, shave your head bald. You'll fit right in!
5) Repeatedly mutter, "... that Tymoshenko bitch" under your breath. You'll make friends with the police in no time.
There are more, I'm sure, but I'll leave that to Amnesty International to take care of. Until then, let's all enjoy the Euro while continuing to criticize Ukraine for fucking up in the human rights arena.
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Follow Anthony Schneck on Twitter: @AnthonyOlogy
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