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The ScreamBody Should Be Covered Under Obamacare

Emily Cheever
HumorOlogy
5 Comments

Hey, are you a f*cking mess? Do you find yourself sitting in your local mall or convention center, completely overwhelmed by the whole situation? Then get the ScreamBody, which is basically a baby bjorn that you can scream into whenever you're feeling just a little stressed. You can do it at work! In a classroom! While taking care of children- wait what? That's right, you really need to show your kids that screaming is an uncontrollable condition so you must wear the ScreamBody at all times.

Then of course, you can take the ScreamBody off and then release all that energy in to the ethos, creating a creepy and wailing sound that can only be described as a robot baby jaguar dying. Plus, you look like you're farting on a bus which is written in one of the Buddhist books as an effective way to meditate.

For the record, no need to wonder what I'm getting the office for Christmas presents this year. If only this could also double as a CamelBak for booze. Actually, I think everyone should have this. You wouldn't have to worry about getting your body in beach ready shape for the summer, because you have this strapped to your chest. Plus, I think that the rates of smoking and drinking would go way down as stress relievers, leading to a generally healthier society.

 

--

Follow me on twitter @emilyfcheever

[ScreamBody: Finally, An Useful Invention]

Comments (5)

Lala profile picture
Lala Cornstock: If a fart is in the woods.....do the squirrels hear it?
June 7, 2012
Bison profile picture
Bison Messink: I think you're on to something, Victoria. They should make a FartBody.
June 6, 2012
Beth profile picture
Beth Haggerty: whoa
June 6, 2012
victoria profile picture
victoria sebring: i dont think she was playing back a scream in the demo... she popped that hip out like she was bracing to pass gas (*skip to 57 seconds)
June 6, 2012
Bison profile picture
Bison Messink: I'm getting one.
June 6, 2012