Here we are, kiddies! I'm sitting in the press room right now for tonight's 2012 MTV Movie Awards and things are already off to a crazy start! So grab a glass of wine (or something stronger if you're feelin' frisky) and curl up on the couch to watch with me! I'll try to give you as many behind-the-scenes goodies as I can! Leggo!
PS. Refresh often!
Want a complete list of nominees and winners? We got you covered.
I totally missed Russell Brand's intro while on my trek from the red carpet, but it's totally OK because I did catch the best part -- him referencing his ex-wife Katy Perry! Classy, Russell.
Mila Kunis and Mark Walhberg present first and I pretty much die. Mila Kunis isn't nominated this year, but I still say MILA FOR ALL THE AWARDS. Also, Marky Marky has never looked better.
[Editor's note: Mila walked into the press room and I did, in fact, die.]
As expected, Jennifer Aniston takes "Best On-Screen Dirtbag." Not that she's dirty, but that's the only way they could get her to these award shows, let's be honest. I'm not hatin' though. As a huge Friends fan I was both excited and confused as to why she thanked the show. We'll take it!
Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield are up next to present "Best Breakthrough Performance." And I'm pretty sure no one cares about the award itself. We just want to see these two make out. Nevertheless, I want Shailene Woodley to take it. And she does!
She's bumbling through her speech and it's friggen adorable. So endearing. And you can hate The Secret Life of an American Teenager all you want, but you can't hate on The Descendants. You just can't.
Next up is "Best Male Performance" and it's anyone's game. The Hunger Games already lost one. Will Ryan Gosling or Daniel Radcliffe take it? Nope. Josh Hutcherson (who is surprisingly really short in person, FYI) wins! Love this kid though. And his strange hat choices. Team Peeta, you guys.
Kristen Stewart and Chris Hemsworth hit the stage and is it just me or does Kristen Stewart wear pretty much the same dress every year? Oh well, can't pay attention when Sr. Hemsworth is on the screen. "Best Female Performance" is such a toss-up. While I really love Jennifer Lawrence, I think Emma Watson deserves to win ONE for playing Hermione for TEN YEARS OF HER LIFE. Oh well, Katniss wins.
Charlie Sheen is on stage right now and I have no f*cking clue what he's saying. Someone wanna fill me in?
Someone just performed. Wiz Khalifa? Meh. Not impressed. #SorryNotSorry
THIS IS IT. "Best Kiss." Leighton Meester, Adam Sandler and Andy Samberg throw around some friendly banter, ya know.
"I'm a little embarrassed for you because I didn't know you were a whore."
Hah.
Anyway, this better be good. I want to witness a full-blown makeout sesh (I'm a perv like that). But, sadly, Robsten (that's Kristen Stewart and Rob Pattinson for those of you not-so-smart people) win for the fourth year in a row. As usual, it's super awkward. She tries to get Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron or Taylor Lautner on stage with her, but nothing happens. She ends up "making out with herself." LAME. I'm not even a big Harry Potter person, but even I know that was Rupert Grint and Emma Watson's award to win. FAIL.
Sorry guys, Leighton Meester walked into the press room and they muted the TV. All I see is Steven Tyler and that other rocker dude (sorry, I was more of an NSYNC girl). Oh wait, Joe Perry? Right? Whatever. Here we go. Johnny Depp is about to get his MTV Generation Award. AKA "The Award We Give Really Famous People Who Would Otherwise Never Show Up."
Johnny Depp hits the stage with The Black Keys, which is pretty f*cking badass. "Clearly, based on the clips, there's obviously something wrong with me," he says upon accepting the award. Is there anyone in this world who doesn't love this man?
Insert something about Jennifer Lawrence getting dick picks from Joel McHale. I'm all for this.
Charlize Theron and Michael Fassbender are here to promote Prometheus, which I know nothing about. And really, I don't get the Michael Fassbender appeal. I don't. Anyway, "Best Fight" is up. I'm guessing The Hunger Games steals it from Harry Potter. And what do ya know? I'm right.
Listen, I f*cking LOVE The Hunger Games. I'm not hatin' at all. But poor HP fans (like my sister) deserve one, you guys. JUST ONE. OK, I'm done. Forever.
Alexander Ludwig (AKA Cato) and Josh Hutcherson accept. Weird acceptance speech. Not enough bromance going on if you ask me.
Matthew McConaughey and Channing Tatum? Not sure why they are both here together, but YES. Channing starts stripping? YES.
[Editor's note: Teen Wolf cast stopped by the press room so I totally missed Elizabeth Banks winning "Best On-Screen Transformation." Fine with me!]
Now I see Mila Kunis' face on the TV. More of this please. And Steve Carell? Oh, I get it. Emma Stone is getting that "MTV Trailblazer" award. Or something. It doesn't matter. IT'S EMMA STONE. Damn, she didn't kiss Andrew. Oh well. She's about to cry on stage. This woman can do no wrong. Really.
Oh sh*t. The cast of The Dark Knight Rises hits the stage and somewhere Ologist Emily Cheever is peeing herself. Christian Bale, whatever. Joseph Gordon-Levitt is just so damn dapper.
Anyway, they show a whole new trailer and it's pretty freakin' amazing. This coming from someone who really knows nothing about Batman (except that Joshua Jackson tried out for that role). Morgan Freeman is in this? Damn. I really have to catch up on my stuff. Wait, did we just see tears in Christian Bale's eyes? Huh?
Not only a trailer, but we get an exclusive clip? Not bad, MTV! Anne Hathaway usually annoys the hell out of me, but she just might pull this off. Also, Bane is scary as f*ck.
We're in the home stretch here, you guys. "Best Movie" time. Jodie Foster is presenting apparently. So The Hunger Games pretty much swept everything (more or less), so it wouldn't be much of a surprise if they won. But I still think it's going to be Breaking Dawn. And yep, they win. The whole cast goes up while a photographer in the press room yells "Comb your hair!" Haha. Whatever. I'm a Twilight fan. I admit it. And Taylor Latuner with a mustache? Sure, why not?
That's it, everyone. Thanks for putting up with me tonight! It was a good time! Oh, and I think Russell Brand was a bit of a letdown. Anyone else? Might be because I missed most of his commentary. Oh well.
Good night!
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What did you think of the show? Let us know in the comments!
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