I hope you guys don't mind, but I'm going to put on my pretentious movie critic hat for a second. Much like the evil queen, Snow White and the Huntsman rips out any heart that the film may have in favor for beauty. I don't seem to remember the last time I was so bored by such a visually interesting film. And the worst part is that I didn't even hate Kristen Stewart. Weird, right? Everyone did a good job but 45 minutes in I was ready to throw in the towel.
Sure, it's fun to stare at Charlize Theron, Chris Hemsworth and the rest of the crew. Turns out in the fantasy middle ages everyone was super hot and had the best clothes in the history of mankind. This is why Game of Thrones is so boss. But unlike Game of Thrones, you ended up not actually caring about anyone, mostly because of the film's predictability.
I know, I know. I shouldn't jump on the predictability because we all know the story anyway. The action reboot definitely took some "risks" with the story, but even those risks ended up falling flat.
It is really everything you want visually. The rookie director Rupert Sanders definitely knew the tone and texture that he wanted for the film and this was executed fine. But the editing only added to the meh plot. One must edit, edit, edit. Cut those scenes down. Make it heart racing without sacrificing the most important details. I don't need to see scene after scene of Snow White running through the enchanted forest, tripping on psychoactive drugs. We all know that can cause cannibalism, which actually would have added to the direness of the film.
SumOlogy: Snow White has been 0-2 this year.
Grade: C
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