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• Created by: Bison Messink
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Got A Hot Wife? Want A Job On The Vanderbilt Football Staff?
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'Honey Badger' Tyran Mathieu Arrested On Marijuana Charges
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Julie and 7 others started following SEC Sports
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Bison posted in SEC Sports
'Honey Badger' Tyran Mathieu Arrested On Marijuana Charges
It's been a long time since we've been able to write a happy story about Tyrann Mathieu, the Honey Badger, the former LSU phenom defensive back and Heisman finalist. Mathieu was arrested this week, along with three former LSU football teammates, on marijuana charges. It's terribling sad Mathieu run into marijuana-related trouble, after he was suspended last year for smoking synthetic marijuana, and then finally kicked off the LSU team last offseason after testing positive for marijuana. How was Mathieu caught this time? Was out making trouble? Was he slingin' on the street, or getting into a fight in the club? Here's what happened: Police came to Mathieu's apartment  and knocked on the door. He answered it. ...
Read More
October 26, 2012

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Got A Hot Wife? Want A Job On The Vanderbilt Football Staff?

Bison Messink
NCAA
SEC Sports

If you love football, and have a hot wife, you should contact Vanderbilt football* coach James Franklin to apply for a position on his staff. Be prepared to have Franklin look her over (your wife, that is) before he hires you.

"I’ve been saying it for a long time; I will not hire an assistant until I see his wife," Franklin said this week on Nashville radio. "If she looks the part and she’s a D1 recruit**, then you got a chance to get hired. That’s part of the deal.  There’s a very strong correlation between having the confidence, going up and talking to a woman, and being quick on your feet and having some personality and confidence and being articulate and confident, than it is walking into a high school and recruiting a kid and selling him."

Obviously, if you can bag a hot babe for a wife, you can bag a stud 17-year-old high school football player, so this is important stuff. Franklin did not make it clear whether he requests to see your wife in various stages of disrobe before making a hire, but it's pretty safe to assume he's not going to want to make that judgement without seeing a little skin.

But please - don't think coach Franklin said this to offend you. In fact, he hopes that he didn't.

"My foot doesn't taste good, I hope I did not offend any1, I love & respect ALL,have a great day, enjoy the fam & don't forget 2 #AnchorDown," the coach tweeted.

Anywho, if you've got a hot wife and would like to apply for a job on Franklin's staff at Vanderbilt University*** I suggest you send an email to the Vanderbilt football office (football_recruiting@vanderbilt.edu) and include a photo of your wife. Might want to send a few photos, just to be safe. Say, a head shot and a topless number, at the very least. 

*You may not have realized that Vanderbilt has a football team. I know I didn't. In his first season on the job, Franklin led the Commodores to a 2-6 record in the SEC, but used non-conference wins over the likes of Elon University to register six wins to become eligible to play in the Liberty Bowl, where Franklin's team lost to Cincinnati.

**And when he says "D1 recruit," that means she's hot.

***Vanderbilt University's stated goals are 

  • quest for new knowledge through scholarship,
  • dissemination of knowledge through teaching and outreach,
  • creative experimentation of ideas and concepts.

   And in pursuit of these goals, Vanderbilt values most highly

  • intellectual freedom that supports open inquiry,
  • equality, compassion, and excellence in all endeavors.

--

Follow Bison Messink on Twitter: @BisonMessink
Follow SportsOlogy on Twitter: @OlogySports 

[h/t Hot Clicks]

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