You'd think by now that athletes, celebrities and famous 53-year-old creepsters would have figured out that when you send/sext naked photos of yourself via an electronic medium, they're probably going to end up on the wrong side of the internet.
But thank god they haven't.
Former Red Sox manager and current ESPN baseball analyst Terry Francona is the latest doofus to be embarrassingly outed as a philanderer of the virtual world. Francona, 53 and divorced, apparently sent a photo of himself, naked except for a white towel slung 'round his loins, to a 27-year-old gal who didn't do a good enough job of keeping the photo from her snooping boyfriend.
And god, what a photo it is. Francona is pictured at an ocean-side pool deck, smiling politely behind his sunglasses, lumpy old-man boobs sagging ever so slightly, with his hands clasped together over his genitals, possibly supressing a boner.
What we really want to know is: who took the photo? Did Francona commission a stranger at the pool deck to click it for him? Or did he set up a self-timer, no doubt snapping through half a dozen takes before it turned out just right? Did he even take the photo specifically for this gal, or does he just keep such photos on reserve for whenever a woman half his age needs to get an idea of what it'd be like to hang off the arm of Terry Francona?
So here's the story on the back end: snooping boyfriend finds the photo that Francona had sent to his girlfriend, and the best thing he can think to do with it was to pass it along to Deadspin.*** The poor cuckold, at this point, still cannot figure out why Francona would have sent such a thing to his sweet and innocent girlfriend, so he does what he does best: keeps snooping. He finds that girlfriend and Francona have been exchanging text messages that contain no text. A little more snooping reveals that girlfriend fired the first shot, sending Francona a photo of her cleavage.
"I'm so pissed," snooping boyfriend told Deadspin.
***which is so 2007, by the way. With everything we are now capable of in the new technology world, just think of what snooping boyfriend could have done with this if he had a lilttle imagination. I'm thinking: he shows up an an event in which Francona in hob-nobbing with fans and signing autographs. Snooping boyfriend makes a nice 8x11 glossy print of the photo, and presents it to Francona. Oh, and by the way snooping boyfriend has brought along one of his idiot friend to use his iphone with the cracked screen to videotape the proceeding.
Snooping boyfriend then presses Francona on why he sent such a photo to his girlfriend while Francona - on camera, mind you - awkwardly stumbles to answer for himself. Snooping boyfriend then quickly strips off all his clothes, except for a white towel slung 'round his loins, and poses for a picture with Francona.
Wouldn' that have been waaay better?
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