Watch The Chilling Official Trailer For 'Dexter's Final Season
How ready are you to have your mind blown? Because intense, dramatic, suspenseful, twisted, and wild aren't even the words to describe the world's first full look at the final season of Dexter. As the show gets ready to wind down the most epic eight-year run in cable history, all bets are off as to how this thing might end. As Dexter (Michael C. Hall) grapples with his how deep the rabbit hole of his own dark passenger goes, he also has to handle his sister Deb (Jennifer Carpenter), whose spiral out of control has no end in sight, a whirring mess of pills and sex and alcohol coupled with serious hatred for a brother who made her a killer. Meanwhile, a new doctor in town ostensibly puts Dexter in more danger than ever before. Watch the full three-minute trailer in the video below:
Terry O'Quinn is the devil! Anthony Edwards fighting Nazis! JK Simmons and Reba McEntire and Sarah Chalke! ABC ordered a lot of new shows and stuffed them full of a lot of familiar faces. Take a look at our Full Guide to ABC's 2012-2013 Schedule, and our one-word thoughts (and then some) about the new crop below.
666 Park Avenue
In one word: Devilish.
In ten words: Terry O’Quinn is probably Satan. Yeah, this is a show.
Other thoughts: Any series casting John Locke as a demonic agent gets an automatic vote of confidence from us. But this is ABC, the same network that tried its hand at a weekly horror series with this season’s The River, which was terrifying only in how ridiculously awful it got. We might have a new American Horror Story on our hands, but the lack of gimp suits and the abundance of people just getting swallowed up by walls doesn’t have us too optimistic.
The Family Tools
In one word: Fixable.
In ten words: Promising, but weak writing does a talented cast no favors.
Other thoughts: You can’t go wrong with J.K. Simmons. It’s just not possible. The man makes insurance commercials entertaining. So even if the show around him looks awkward and unfunny and generally lame, J.K. Simmons is capable of dragging The Family Tools to success through the sheer power of his charisma and how often he can remind of you of him saying, “Get me pictures of Spiderman!”
How to Live with Your Parents (For The Rest of Your Life)
In one word: Hilarious.
In ten words: A sharp, funny cast downplays the show’s annoyingly relevant premise.
Other thoughts: We weren’t sure about this one, since the title makes the show sound like it’s trying too hard to reflect current economic woes sending people back to live with their parents, but the trailer absolutely sold us. The cast is an all star team of supporting sitcom characters, with Raymond’s Brad Garrett, Weeds’ Elizabeth Perkins, and Scrubs’ Sarah Chalke. The parents are delightfully self absorbed, the little girl is pretty darn cute, and Sarah Chalke doesn’t do much in the trailer, but we can’t imagine the show underutilizing someone who makes manic neuroses so funny.
Last Resort
In one word: Sunk.
In ten words: ABC takes advantage of old people who like Tom Clancy.
Other thoughts: Shawn Ryan created this? Really? Creator of The Shield? You sure? Ryan has helped produce some of television’s most memorable crime dramas, so excuse us for being a little surprised that Last Resort looks like a low budget political thriller. Ryan’s trademark nuance and realism is nowhere to be found in the crew of a nuclear submarine who defy orders to blow up Pakistan (like, the entire country) and subsequently declare themselves a sovereign nation. That’s not a TV show, that’s a manuscript you find in a survivalist’s doomsday bunker.
Malibu Country
In one word: Reba.
In ten words: No, really. It’s the same show. They just moved west.
Other thoughts: Look, we don’t have anything against bringing Reba McEntire back to television. She’s a firecracker! And Reba’s improbable six season run wasn’t just a fluke; the sitcom was one of CW’s highest rated programs. But to essentially make the same exact show about a wisecracking single mother taking care of her family after her husband cheats on her? That takes chutzpah. And throwing comic legend Lily Tomlin into the mix? ABC is either screwing with us, or knows this humorless fluff will run for years.
Nashville
In one word: ... Reba.
In ten words: Only aging country singer is played for drama, not laughs.
Other thoughts: Okay, maybe it’s not entirely Malibu Country’s sadder, more serious counterpart. The tale of Connie Britton’s fading country starlet actually looks kind of fun, with the bitchy “old versus new” cat fight between her and Hayden Panettiere’s hot up-and-comer as the show’s backbone, and a subplot where Powers Booth gets to do what he does best by saying menacing things in a southern accent. We already know how insanely talented Britton is from Friday Night Lights, and Nashville could strike the perfect balance between its pulpy backstage drama and comeback story.
The Neighbors
In one word: Otherworldly.
In ten words: Will undoubtedly test your pain threshold for anal probe jokes.
Other thoughts: Aliens have had a rich tradition in sitcoms. Mork & Mindy, 3rd Rock From the Sun... Mork & Mindy. Alright, maybe there’s a reason we don’t have more extraterrestrial comedies, since every joke is just a variation of, “These aliens just don’t understand our wacky human customs!” And we see that beat played ad nauseam in The Neighbors’ trailer, even if the martian suburban community does earn some laughs (when are llamas NOT funny?). If the show can find a new angle on a tired premise, it could find life beyond a shortened first season.
Mistresses
In one word: Homewrecking.
In ten words: CW show for moms. Damn you, Fifty Shades of Grey!
Other thoughts: An American adaptation of a British series about the extramarital affairs of four female friends. We think. We’re not entirely sure who’s supposed to be cheating on whom, we just know that bitch’s be having lots of sex. And why not? Who doesn’t like sex? We sure like sex, so forget about things like characters and story and compelling drama and just sit back and watch some sweet, sweet, strictly FCC-regulated loving. Aw, yeah.
Red Widow
In one word: REVEEEEENGE!
In ten words: Uses “written by Twilight screenwriter” as a selling point. Ew.
Other thoughts: We’re all for ABC’s emphasis on dramas led by powerful, independent women, but why are those women only ever forced into action when their significant other is shot or blown up by terrorists or indebted to the mob? Why can’t Red Widow’s protagonist just be a drug smuggler without having to protect her children and avenge her husband’s death? Because that would probably be way more interesting than the show’s standard “single mother singlehandedly takes down a criminal organization” premise. Yawn.
Zero Hour
In one word: NAZIS!
In ten words: Clocks and Nazis and the apocalypse and Dr. Mark Greene.
Other thoughts: We... just... don’t even know where to start. Zero Hour is either going to be brilliant or an ungodly mess. Maybe both. A “confessed paranormal junkie” played by Anthony Edwards unwittingly uncovers a treasure map in a clock belonging to his kidnapped wife that may or may not lead to a century-spanning Nazi treasure that could bring about the end of the world. That... sounds... awesome. Like a meth addict trying to describe The Da Vinci Code. It’s going to take an active effort to fail to screw up a premise that balls out ridiculous.
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