DadBoner had a really great Mother's Day, you guys. Or, as I ought to call it, "Karl's Day."

When we last caught up to our hero, Karl Welzein, he was having a rockin' Cinco De Mayo celebraish and really soakin' up the Mexican spirit of the holiday. Well last Sunday was Mother's Day, but "when you think about it," Karl says, "Mom's Day is just as much about the Dads. No Dads = no Moms."

So since Karl's sow of an ex-wife Ann didn't do anything special for DadBoner on Mother's Day, or even call, he decides to put together a nice little Karl's Day celebraish that was all his own.

At first, Karl is "pretty steamed" Ann didn't call. "So disrespectful," he says. "After all I've done in the past. Giant cards, chocolate roses. The works, really."

But the disrespect is nothing that a good celebraish can't fix and Karl goes off to the store for supplies: "BL Margs, BL Nums, Dean's French Onion & Better Mades, Koegels for grillin', AND a fresh bottle of 'Bu for Cocoa Tans. Full spread."

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Karl's really enjoying himself and the Cocoa Tans are going down "so smooth," so he decides to call his roommate Dave, who is off visiting his mother, to tell him what he's missing.

"Dave never picked up," Welzein tweets. "Called about 10 times. Left a bunch of fart sound messages. That's guy code for "you're really missin' a celebraish."

With Dave off the hook, Karl goes ahead and gives Ann a call to "see if her Mom's Day is as rockin' as "Karl's Day." But she doesn't answer either, and Karl accidentally leaves fart noises on her machine, too.

"Was just in such a groove from callin' Dave," Karl explains. "Kinda bombed. Might call back."

Like any gentleman would, Karl does call Ann back, and apologizes for the fart noises. "Thought you were Dave," he says. But Ann does not call back, perhaps because the dishwasher is too loud and she doesn't hear the phone. This does not sit well with Captain Karl.

"Sick of this," he tweets. "Callin' Ann back again. MAKIN' FART SOUNDS INTO THE PHONE LIKE NEVER BEFORE! You don't disrespect me on Karl's Day!"

The next day at work, Karl is "really hurtin'. Drank almost a whole bottle of 'Bu last night. Hard to keep track 'cause of the white bottle. There should be a warning."

As Welzein recalls, he "went kinda bonkers last night. Called Ann once or twice. Don't think I said anything too bad though. She probably liked the attention."

So he does what any man would do: "Gonna go take a snooze in the john," he says in our @DadBoner Tweet of the Week. "Sometimes a nice cold seat on the guy cheeks is just what the Dr. ordered."

He stays passed out in the john well into the evening, when everyone should have gone home. But of course, his co-worker, Nosey Lady, is still nosing around and sees him come out. Karl tells her he "blacked out from guy pains," and Nosey Lady suggests he go see a doctor, which Karl thinks is "so rude."

"There's no cure for "guy pains" anyway," Karl tweets. "I know because it's a problem I made up. Just shows you how stupid Nosey Lady is. What a sow."

We now leave Karl until the next week, but it looks there's trouble a-brewin'. First of all, Ann called and wants to talk again, and as we all know, last time that did not go so hot. And on top of that, there's some bad stuff goin' down at Karl's workplace:

"Just had a meeting at work. Said they're cuttin' our pay, but we get to keep our jobs, so we should be thankful," Karl tweeted Tuesday. "Thank THIS, a-holes."

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