Hey guys, I got some bad news. Apparently the world is not ending this December. Sorry about that, change your plans accordingly.
Scientists or archaeologists or whatever they're called recently found evidence that the Mayan calendar does not end on the 21st of this year. Rather, it will start anew, with some sort of cycle called b'ak'tun (gesundheit). Thus the b'ak'tun in the sky keeps on turning, I don't know where I'll be tomorrow...
This will immediately put all your friends on Facebook to shame because practically everyone and their mother decided to do some funny quip about Snooki's due date being in December, therefore bringing the second coming of Christ and dooming the world to an endless series of thunderstorms that spew menstrual blood and zombies that eat brains/ still don't kill Lori from The Walking Dead.
Here's a video of a guy who found the new information. He's pretty pleased with himself, and he should be. Now we have a chance to see Star Trek 2: Electric Space Bugaloo/Return of Khan as well as Zach Snyder's new Superman movie. Whew. I was getting worried.
I still think that the Mayans were on to something. I mean, if one b'ak'tun ends, perhaps the next one will shake Earth's foundation to the core. Maybe the internet will stop working (!!!!) maybe Mitt Romney will take office (!!!) and maybe for the first time I will get to kiss a human boy. One can dream!
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