For full disclosure, I've only watched about six minutes of The Voice this season, mostly because I'd rather remember Christina Aguilera in her "Genie In A Bottle" days, and also because watching Carson Daly do anything but TRL depresses me. But as great as she can belt out a song, Christina hasn't exactly been a beacon of sartorial wisdom, what with all the tanning and fishnets and boob spillage and... tiaras. When you combine her unfortunate style with the apparent back and forth going on between her and former Mickey Mouse Club castmate Tony Lucca, you'd think she was a teenager, but alas X-Tina is a woman of 31, hoop earrings and all. Seriously, who the f*ck dresses you? Ke$ha?
"I like to keep it fresh and interesting. I get bored and I'm an artist first and foremost," she told Us Weekly last month. "That's why sometimes you'll see me with a hat, sometimes you'll see me just a little more subdued."
WTF? Subdued? Does that rhinestone-bedazzled compact disc Newsie fascinator look subdued to you? I'm not about to get into her weight gain or her divorce or whatever (I'm not that much of a bitch), but that cakey bronzer sure isn't doing her any favors. This shit is in HIGH DEF. And does anything else think Christina may have switched wardrobes with J.Lo circa 2005? In the words of TVOlogist and Resident Stud Terron R. Moore, "She looks like a bad, dirty bitch." This is NOT subdued.
Anyway, thanks to the annoying drama she incites, there's no doubt we'll get to see her bleached weave and excess cleavage on season three, but because that's SO far away, let's take a look back on Christina's disastrous wardrobe from the past two seasons. Oh, the horror memories!
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