While it's been suspected for years and we here at Ology have pretty much known this since fanny paks went out of style, let's pretend this is news, shall we? A recently surfaced report finally confirms that, yes, unstoppable media behemoth Arianna Huffington is in fact an alien. For years many have harbored the belief that the inhumanly omniscient Huffington is not of this world, but it wasn’t until this post appeared on the all-powerful journalist’s own website that the issue was publicly addressed.
Credited only to a writer who refers to himself as “Bugeyes,” the founder of conspiracy theory blog MenInBlackSuitsAreReal, the report cites an anonymous insider who identified Arianna as an extraterrestrial being. While the report lacks such crucial things as “hard facts” or “confirmed sources,” hardly any factual data is required to make the compelling argument that Ms. Huffington is from outer space, because we just know. You know it. I know it. Justin Bieber knows it. It's true.
Huffington has yet to issue a statement on the matter, but considering the years she’s spent building her massive media empire, we can only assume that whatever intentions she has are an obvious threat to the human race. We’ll provide more on the response from government officials and local authorities as this story develops. Until then, please remain calm, and for the love of God stay away from the Huffington Post lest Arianna finally puts her invasion and human enslavement plans into motion.
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