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A tribute to 17 years of loathing.
• Created by: JT Langley
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Nickelback Sucks
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A Few Stats...
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A Few Stats...

JT Langley
Nickelback Sucks
Alright, I did this about a year-and-a-half ago, so I figured I'd provide an update on some startling statistics that, well, will most likely make you want to take a power drill to your temple. According to last.fm, Nickelback has 2,279,467 listeners worldwide, a sad statement on man's folly. Let's put those numbers in perspective: In all of WWII, Japan had 2,120,000 casualties of war. Nickelback has enough listeners to, at the time, revive the military losses of The Land of the Rising Sun. The current population of Jamaica is 2,705,827. There are almost enough Nickelback listeners in the world to populate the entire island of Jamaica. Worse, the population of The Bahamas is 353,658. That means there are enough Nickelback fans in the world to populate the islands 6.44539923 over. Over 6500 die worldwide each year due to Heroin overdose. 2,279,467 listen to Nickelback, and probably don't do heroin. We'll just go by basic numbers here, but Nickelback has sold over 50 million CDs worldwide. The average price of an album is $13.99; essentially, straight-forward without other factors, Nickelback have made $699,500,000 for their music. That's more than the Gross Domestic Product of Madagascar, Niger, Liberia and The Republic of the Congo. I could go on and on, but I really don't see the point. More people listen to Nickelback than there are murders per year worldwide. What a bleak world we call home.

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