(reporting by Joe Drake)
When Madonna was asked about Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way” back in January, one of the greatest pop divas of all time stuck her nose up at it, calling it “familiar” and “reductive” (when asked if that was good or bad, Madge’s overconfident—but well-earned—response was a sassy “look it up”). But when the lovely staff at Logo connected us to this week’s eliminated queen from RuPaul’s Drag Race, Joe Drake wasn’t greeted by the perky, upbeat voice of a lady boy, but that of the gaudy-toned, self-obsessed Willam, this week’s dramatically disqualified queen with 170,000 YouTube views, thank you very much, a he-woman who should have won the whole show, of course, and whose aunt won an Emmy, you should also know. Who is this? Are we on the phone with Madge herself? Who does Drag Race’s most controversial contestant ever think she is?
Logo Staff Member: “Okay, Joe! You are on with Willam!”
OLOGY: Thank you! Hi, Willam! How are you?!
(A 5-second pause that seems to last 5 hours.)
WILLAM: (in a whispered tone) Hi.
(Silence.)
OLOGY: So… what in the hell did you do to break the rules and get yourself disqualified?
Well, they are leaving it up to me to tell whomever I want. But, I think I am going to make it my dirty little secret.
OLOGY: Were you aware that breaking a rule would taint your reputation?
First of all, I love the word ‘taint’. Thank you for that. And who said I didn’t break more than one?
(She gets a laugh out of us. Whether it is nervous laughter or not is still up in the air. At this point, we are aware she has not cured cancer or figured out why Angelina Jolie’s arms are so thin; we just want to know what she did to get disqualified. Is that too much for a gal to ask?)
OLOGY: Why did you throw up? Were you just feeling sick or did it have something to do with the rules you broke?
Have you heard of the PLAN B pill?
OLOGY: Yes.
Yeah. It causes vomiting.
OLOGY: I see. Who cleaned it up? It seemed like you just puked off the side of the stage and left it there.
I cleaned it up myself. I am not going to make any of the production people do that.
OLOGY: Do you think you would have remained on the show if you hadn’t broken any rules?
Yeah. I won two mini-challenges and two main challenges. I ended up winning a singing and dancing challenge. I mean, my aunt has an EMMY. I realize I might have been a polarizing figure but I know I deserved to win.
OLOGY: Why did Phi Phi have so much aggression towards you in The Gold Room?
Who?
OLOGY: Phi Phi O’Hara.
I’m not familiar.
(Uncomfortable laughter.)
She seems like a joyous person. But people that raise their voice and get angry make it known that they care. I find it much more affective to say and do less. At the end of the day we are just cross dressers. This isn’t breaking news on CNN. It’s not that deep…
OLOGY: So, what are your relationships like with some of the other girls? How about Sharon Needles?
We’re cool.
OLOGY: What about Latrice Royale?
We are really cool. We were paired up together on last night’s episode and I think we worked really well together. It really wasn’t a “frenemies” task. It was who could help each other out the most, and we did.
OLOGY: You must certainly did… you won the challenge!
Duh.
OLOGY: Who do you think deserves to win this season?
I really think Michelle Visage deserves to win.
(This is incredibly funny, but because we already did our research on Willam beforehand, we knew she has used this joke in every other interview.)
OLOGY: We’ve been seeing your song for Chick-Fil-A circulating all over. Does this mean you have a music career in the future?
I have always been a singer. I have my own band. My two songs are currently available on iTunes. “Trouble” and “Chow Down”. “Chow Down (At Chick-Fil-A)” is a response to Chick-Fil-A’s anti-gay agenda.
OLOGY: That’s great! Good for you. I haven’t watched it yet. I’m really looking forward to seeing it.
It has over 170,000 views on YouTube. How have you not seen it yet?
OLOGY: Condragulations on your NEWNOWNEXT nomination for Most Addictive Reality Star! You are up against Abby Lee Miller from Dance Moms and Andy Cohen. Do you think you have a shot at winning?
Well, Logo hates Bravo, so I am not sure why Andy is even nominated. I mean I would love to win. Wait, hold on… is that okay ,Ology?
(Yes. At this point during the interview she decides not to call the interviewer by his first name, but rather the name of the site he is working for. Willam then breaks into conversation with the publicity woman at Logo about revealing a secret regarding the NEWNOWNEXT Awards. Unfortunately, Joe finds out he cannot publicize what the secret is after clearly hearing them discuss it “off the record”. After some quick reflection, we decide to start getting real. Time for the ‘B’ word!)
OLOGY: … So do you consider yourself to be this b*tchy in real life or do you think it is the fault of the producers and editors that made you look so nasty?
Anyone that complains about the production or the editing is foolish because the producers can only work with what they are given.
OLOGY: So, you are saying you really are a b*tch?
(Another elongated pause.)
People need to realize I am actually a self-deprecating person. I wish they had shown more of that crying sequence a few episodes back.
OLOGY: Everyone is a bit self-deprecating at times. Before we go: what do you want your drag legacy to be? For all the future queens out there, what advice do you have for them?
I am nobody’s role model. I am just here for the party.
OLOGY: Okay…
I mean, I know I probably won’t have a number in the Library of Congress for being a drag queen. I hope to be remembered as an actress, singer, author and personality. It’s all a novelty. People can judge me however they want.
OLOGY: Absolutely. Well thank you so much, Willam. It was a pleasure to talk with you today.
Yep. I mean, they’re paying me to do this.
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Follow Joe Drake on Twitter: @JoeDrakeNYC
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