Seriously, Hollywood is always one step away from a new scandal and stars are moments away from either splitting or moving on to the next project. For your reading pleasure, here’s the weekly rundown of what us news gems should already be writing so that when that certain news breaks, it will already be set for its release.
Why? Because some stories are just inevitable and Jessica Simpson is bound to pop out that kid any day now.
Here’s to the future headlines:
1. SHOCKING: Glee Gets Canceled
Glee has been so good these days. Right? No. For starters the FOX series is currently failing out of McKinley High based on this season. For those who don’t agree, go back to the pilot and first season. Glee used to throw out effortless jokes, it was fast-paced, had storylines that didn’t involve Quinn doing 360s every other week and that didn’t involve Sue getting pregnant. It was when the performances actually made sense. The Britney Spears and Madonna tribute episodes were unique and intriguing but showcasing a new talent every week takes away from the actual series all the while diminishing the attachments we’ve grown accustomed to with our favorite characters.
Glee won’t be canceled because it makes the network too much money. But the fact that it could potentially be thought of as a headline is not a good sign. Ryan Murphy is unbelievable at what he does but American Horror Story may have left Finn and Rachel to really take care of the Glee club by them selves this time around.
And let’s face it—the kids just have too much homework and future aspirations to handle on top of it all.
2. Justin Bieber Knocks Up A Girl For Real
Mariah Yeater had her few months in public glory but that doesn’t mean Justin won’t have any other suitors and liars coming his way.
This headline could mean a variety of things. In just a few short years or even months Justin could knock up a fan turned girlfriend, get caught cheating or even impregnate Selena Gomez herself.
3. Suri Cruise Applies For Scientology License
Because she is Tom Cruise’s daughter and even though she’s 5 years old he and Katie Holmes still carry her around like she’s a new born. They’ve got a strong hold on that kid who is sure to become a designer of some sort.
4. Rihanna And Chris Brown Are Officially Back Together
Well, that’s what happens when you still stay in contact with the guy that beat you in 2009 during Grammy season and then continue to tweet him and even collaborate on a song with him called “Birthday Cake” in 2012.
With no exaggeration, this official reconciliation wouldn’t shock anyone in the slightest bit. Which is ironic because that shock value is exactly what the entertainers would probably want from the public.
As an onlooker one will always feel sorry and terrible for what happened two years ago. However, the more recent interactions between these two doesn’t draw any sympathy.
5. Rejoice! Jennifer Aniston Is Finally Pregnant
A story that should have been created and edited a year ago. Let's hope 2012 breaks this one out of the archives.
6. Lindsay Lohan Is Sent Back To Jail For 12th Time
Despite her Twitter remark on Wednesday, apparently Lindsay got into a little hit and run recently. The guy is pressing charges. Could this be the first scenario that will spiral her out of control once again?
7. Lindsay Lohan Tries Her Hand At SNL Again To Boost Career
Hey, it could happen.
8. Jessica Simpson Has Her Baby
Jessica has been pregnant for about 12 months and counting. She just shot down rumors on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno that she was having twins but you can't blame the guy for asking. She's so big at this point that the arrival of Maxwell can be at any time.
9. Kim Kardashian And Reggie Bush Get Engaged
Even after the breakup and divorce from Kris Humphries, Reggie Bush apparently was caught consoling Kim after her failed marriage to the NBA player. If anything, Reggie has been the one person who actually seemed to make the most sense with Kim. They apparently only broke up because of hectic schedules back in the day.
10. Adele Does A 360, New Album All About Love
If Adele could sell millions by writing about an ex, than who knows how much influence she can have in the music industry when she actually gets in the studio to start singing about current romances? The stunning talent is now dating boyfriend Simon Konecki, which makes us extremely excited for what her next album will sound like.
What story do you think will be making headlines? What will come first?