So I guess we're not going to see the great showdown between Mike and Snooki until the end of the season. Lord knows they keep on holding out that carrot. I wouldn't say anything of importance went down tonight on Jersey Shore, but I'll let you be the judge. Here's what happened tonight:
Jenni was not prepared for such a conversation with Roger. But the two make up and everything like adults. I seriously can't wait for a spin off show just based on Jenni and Snooki. They are the best ones.
Meanwhile Team Meatball is having some issues with Dan from The Shore Store. They need to do something other they run the risk of getting fired (let's be clear, there actually is no risk of this). They bake him a cake but at some point in the night…a corner is taken.
Of course, we're blaming Mike for this as we should. He was the last person up. Anyway, Danny takes it in stride. Then shoves some of the cake in Deena's face. They are even.
Snooki still has that damned UTI that she needs to get taken care of. Jenni takes her because she is the momma of the house. Snooki is crushed to find out that you can't drink on antibiotics. Well, one drink can't hurt. Of course, this trip to the doctor's makes the girls late and Mike has no other choice but keep taking about how great he is compared to everyone else. Isn't it funny how he was never considered for a spin off?
Mike takes the whole cake incident as a reason why everyone hates him. Then it turns out, it was Pauly. Eggs on everyone's faces.
"I feel so bad for blaming Mike…the kid really does get blamed for everything." -Deena
Of course Deena half apologizes but Mike doesn't take this lightly. I mean, how could he? It's a very punishable offense, getting blamed for eating cake.
It's clubbing time and of course, Mike runs for a group of dudes. Paula, Mike's occasional smash piece, is having a birthday night of celebration. Everyone rejoices. Snooki goes for the shots. She's drinking, despite, or maybe to spite, her antibiotics.
"If it was birthday I would have camel toe too." -Vinny
Paula does seem smitten with Mike, which is confusing. She seems cool? Is she going to be Mrs. Sitch? Anyway, they have sex and I get a little nauseous.
"I think Mike likes Paula, truthfully, deep down, I think he does." -Sammi
Let's just not talk about the fact that a lot of people think that Mike pitches for the other team.
During their date, Vinny and Pauly loose their car keys. They joke like an old couple. It is kind of adorable, this bromance they have.
Some of the group goes to Jenks, which wouldn't be novel except that its a moment where we see Ronnie and Sammi laughing and joking together.
Back at the house, Mike and Snooki are drunk (?). Mike wants to reenact the scene from Varsity Blues with her (right...)
"I'm going to keep on putting the flirt on until she bends…or blows." -Mike
Snooki gets upset so runs away, Mike just says "she likes it."
Anyway, there's a new guy Joey that Deena wants to smash. The gang goes home, and Pauly decides to prank her by putting all the dirty dishes in her bed. That's a lot of dirty dishes by the way. Tom Foolery, tom foolery, Snooki watches them smash.
Mike is still plotting to ruin Snooki. He decides that this is the night. Meanwhile, Jenni gets all slutted up for Roger, which is kind of incredible. Go Roger. Anyway, they're still a little fighty but not too much. Meaning, I'm not concerned for the relationship of the century.
The gang goes to Karma and it's already crazy. People are getting drinks thrown on them, guys are choking each other…Come on New Jersey, have some self respect.
"Jenni. Don't fight." -Roger
Welp, some guy starts to paw Jenni and that's when Roger steps in, telling him to back off. The guy swings and…
SumOlogy:Next week on Jersey Shore, same sh*t different day.
Grade: 5/10
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