I don’t know about you, but for too long the United States has allowed the body of water sandwiched in between the Florida and Yucatan Peninsulas to be referred to as “the Gulf of Mexico.” In order to address this oft ignored tyranny, Rep. Steve Holland (R-MS) has introduced legislation in the House to rename the Gulf of Mexico, “the Gulf of America.”
Picture it: no longer would American’s need to wade into waters just off southern shores that bear a foreign entity’s name. Has the Gulf Coast not suffered enough in the past decade? Now, the hurricanes and oil spills that roll out of the Gulf to wreak havoc on American shores will emanate from waters we can call our own.
Indeed, there are more branding injustices – for starters, let’s do away with “the Panama Canal.” You guessed it: “the America Canal.” We built the thing after all.
Speaking of Panama, how about “the isthmus of America?” I’d also like to see both continents in the Western Hemisphere just called “America.” This “north,” “south” thing is strictly divisive.
By the way, how can we tolerate having a “Mexico” inside America? That whole “New Mexico” thing has got to go. You bet! “New America.” Also, Canada has been an affront to the Hemisphere for too long. Let’s just run with “America 2,” because sequels are never as good as the original.
My fellow-ologists have some suggestions as well: Anthony Schneck sees some cultural problems with that whole Canada initiative, so he suggests “America Part Deux,” to appease our friends in Quebec. Bison Messink suggested we rename some geographic features after popular television programs – sort of a cross-branding initiative. The Bering Sea, for example, should become “The Deadliest Catch Sea” and the “Jersey Shore” should be, well, we can keep that one.
Any suggestions, Ology readers?
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