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The Voice premieres after the Super Bowl on Feb. 5 and it can't come any faster. The NBC series proved to be a huge hit last season and Blake Shelton has been severely missed ever since the competition ended, leaving Javier Colon as the winner.
Sure there's Adam Levine, Cee Lo Green and Christina Aguilera, but Blake's raunchy humor is what really needs to come back to television soon. In lieu of its second season, here's to 30 of the most vulgar and drunken tweets that the country singer has written over the past two years. It's something to mull over before Sunday.
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"Just told my dog what a b*tch I think she is... B*tch couldn't even disagree!!!"
"Im so drunk right now I just walked up to a young EMT girl and shouted 'Quick!!! I think I may need a urine transfusion!!'"
"Remember what I said y'all...No take no sh*t. EVERYTHING is right about being yourself.."
"Just cut my finger trying to open a can of whup ass.."
"As I stood here looking out my window at the Nashville skyline, a sparrow smashed head on into the glass. Ahh.. It's gonna be a great day."
"Leaving L.A....With blood in my stool."
"I'm so hungover right now I just keyed my dog and walked my truck.."
"With vomit on my shirt.."
"Hmmm...? Can't decide if I want to watch "The Antique Road Show" or headbutt a bowl of thumb tacks..."
"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Taco Bell, pointed at my own ass and shouted "Think outside THIS bun b*tch!!!"
"There's a BIG difference in smoking crack and a smoking crack..."
"Just realized I haven't tweeted in like 2 days. Mostly because I've been in an alcoholic coma from new years eve."
"Caution: There will be a large gathering of obnoxious, completely wasted red-necks tonight in Thackerville, Ok.... And THAT'S just the band!"
"Now that Christmas is over lets all be honest..."Say Yes To The Dress" is the worst show ever. Right"
"My favorite thing about being a musician? No one cares when I announce that I'm going to my room to play with myself..."
"#wasplaying with myself..."
"The Voice is SO fahking hard!!!!!!"
"Holiday Help... by Blake Shelton Hate being asked to do the dishes after Christmas dinner? Drop some of moms fine china.. Hello football!!"
"@TheRealXtina I hope you enjoyed the birthday spanking I gave you!!! I wasn't sure how old you were and THATS why I couldn't stop..."
"Shooting a commercial today for NBC..Drunk."
"Just found out the hard way that its not legal to relieve yourself in your yard in LA...Even though I was gonna pick it up!!!"
"Ba! Ha! Ha! Quote of the night..."I'm so drunk I can't proper functionally..." - Miranda Lambert"
"I'm so hungover right now I'm writing this to piss off the people who can't it when I say stuff like this.."
"Christmas shopping in LA with my wife...Drunk.#really"
"I'm so drunk right now I just pissed my pants...They were in the drawer..."
"I'm so drunk right now I just walked into Jack In The Box, pointed at my pants and shouted 'Hey girls, say hello to your big headed boss!'"
"Back in LA.... by Blake Shelton Where is the Cracker Barrel?....Where is the mother fahkin' Cracker Barrel?!!!!"
"Just landed in LA...Already hit on my first lesbian this trip!!! I love this town!!!"
"Flying to LA to continue filming The Voice...Drunk."
"Getting ready for the ACA awards tonight. By drinking my fahking face off....."
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Comments
Don't worry, we'll never be evil with your information
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Jennifer McPhers - I think the tweets are hilarious! Lol. Blake Shelton is obviousely screwing with everyone! hilarious!
Commented on 04 10, 2012