Hello. My name is Emily. I am a 24 year old girl, living in Brooklyn, with a job and access to bank accounts and alcohol. I pay my own rent and make my own food. I diligently post about film and television every day. But I'm tired about being so embarrassed about it. Sometimes Most of the time, I really like to play The Sims 3.
My history with The Sims has been long. Why, I remember when my family got our first Gateway computer (came in the dairy cow themed box) and we got a Maxis pack which included SimCity, SimAnt and SimTunes. If you're reading this right now, I bet you also have said to yourself "Holy sh*t. SimTunes was awesome." Yeah, it was. Anyway, not long after playing with those games for hours did I move on to The Sims, which had this jingle.
Anyway. I played it a lot. And like most people, I made everyone in the town ridiculously attractive (that usually ended up with all of the characters looking the same, with the same hair cut) and ridiculously rich because I had no problems using cheat codes.
-If I may talk about cheat codes in the world of The Sims for a second- Everyone uses cheat codes. Because the Sims isn't about winning, it's about doing whatever the f*ck you want to. So anyone that refuses to use a cheat code in this game is a damnned fool.
So my Sims were all the same, except of course, for the Newbie family (and later on, the Goths), which just kind of sat around and shoved their boring lives in everyone's faces. My Sims were all screwing each other, even before I really knew what kind of emotional toll that was taking. Well, even now, my Sims are still screwing each other.
Seriously, f*ck the Newbies and their constant happiness.
Anyway, then the Sims 2 came and that was great because then you got all the expansion packs. These were a treat because instead of actually experiencing life, I wanted to experience it without consequences. I particularly enjoyed Pets but that always presented a problem for my Sims moodlet. See, if your pet pooped in the backyard and you couldn't see it, you couldn't clean it up, and then your sim would always be in a bad mood when they were outside...AM I RIGHT, YOU GUYS? Nightlife was also a fun expansion pack because then you could make your sims f*ck each other more than they were presumably f*cking. And Vacation was fun but that was always so hard to do because the sims were constantly getting tired and stuff.
Oh yeah, hot tub M.O.ing...
Anyway, then I went to college and buried my love for The Sims deep inside a shame hole that I never thought I would uncover again. I was in New York! I didn't have to live vicariously through the Sims anymore! What with their Aspen vacations and propensity for getting stuck in fires. I could say "Comma Snada?" and "Soon soon!" to anyone I wanted! The funniest part was when I asked a casual friend "Comma Snada" and the two of us became fast friends, now we even live together.
And then, years later after my Sims abstience, I decided after an afternoon of particular lethargy (which may or may have not been aided by a recreational substance) that I should give The Sims 3 a go. I mean, it was a good way to spend 6 hours and I concluded that my temporary interest would prevent me from going out and spending more money. My addiction started again, as worse as it was ever.
And my God you guys, did you know the crazy sh*t you can do with The Sims 3? I've had a ghost baby. No kidding, you can have a ghost baby. No, that does not entail actually killing a baby but having sex with a ghost...
EXHIBIT A:
You can also become a vampire, make a robot, go back or forward in time. These days in my mature age I actually just prefer making epic houses. My Sims don't look the same anymore. I've added different people, professions and traits to my village, making it a relatively well rounded utopia where it never rains. In fact, my Sims play is no longer as much about living vicariously through them or "being bad" (cheating, etc) but it's about performing the basic story line of a characters life, albeit with a little drama thrown in. I'd like to think that this means that I've matured since the days of The Sims 1 or 2, but who knows.
Now, I laugh in amusement at the many YouTube videos dedicated to The Sims. Some are stories and music videos, other tutorials and some just moments of a Sims life. I'm actually really quite impressed at the amount of work that some people put in to their characters. Videos like this showed me what it really looks like to have sex. I am clearly doing it wrong:
Looks painful.
The point is, The Sims have been a part of my life since computers were around. And I have loved every second of it. A friend once told me that my life could be chronicled by each expansion pack or what I was going through when I picked up the game again. I think she meant that as a friendly jab but I take it as a strange badge of cultural honor.
So I put it to you, shamed players, to stand up and announce that yes, you have played The Sims. You have broken up families and killed of characters you didn't like anymore, created ghost babies and evil genius'. You have purposefully made several of your Sims with giant breasts that are completely anatomically incorrect to the human body. You have even attempted to kill children because you thought it would be really cool to have a haunted house in your town. Now those Second Life people. Those are the weird ones.
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Follow me on twitter @emilyfcheever
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