Cause of Apocalypse: Some kind of crazy alien/monster
Director: Matt Reeves
Stars: Lizzy Caplan, Jessica Lucas, T.J. Miller,
Michael Stahl-David and Mike Vogel
So I wouldn’t call Cloverfield your
typical apocalypse movie, mostly because there really is no apocalypse.
However, as a huge fan of New York I would say that its destruction might as
well be the end of my world. Also there is a lot you can learn from this movie.
In fact I would say that if you wanted to survive I would watch this movie and
do the exact opposite. Nothing the characters in this movie do will help you
survive.
Regardless, this was my
first time seeing Cloverfield and besides loving it I can tell
you that there are other useful facts that might help you when a monster
attacks your city.
First off, It’s
obviously never alright to leave a man behind. However, if this person is miles
away and requires you to walk directly into danger it is acceptable to leave
them behind.
Do not spend time in
dark holes in the ground. Everything scary or dangerous lives underground in
places like subway tunnels.
Never get bitten. This
usually applies to zombies but after watching what happens to Lizzy Caplan,
it’s probably a good idea not to get bitten by anything.
Keep a camera on you to
catalogue the event. While this might be a crutch it will definitely be a
valuable piece of equipment that could tell you a lot later.
Always keep some pain
meds and a spare cloth in your pocket at all times. At some point you or
someone in your group is going to be injured and you are going to be happy that
you brought those Advil.
Don’t rely on finding a
weapon at the last possible second. For some reason the characters in Cloverfield always seem to find a lead
pipe or an axe right when they need it, but that will not happen in real life
so you really should keep a weapon with you at all times.
That leads me to my next
point, which is that you should always travel in a group. Its nice to know
someone is watching your back at all time.
Looting is good, yes
that’s right I said looting. Obviously, looting things like TVs, speakers or a
new Rockband set can be a tad unnecessary; but this movie reminded me that
taking extra batteries for your phone will help you out in the long run.
This one might seem a
bit specific to this movie but escaping on the Brooklyn bridge is a terrible
idea. How are you safer is Brooklyn anyways? Its still practically in the city
and its not like the hipster population will save you from a giant crazy
monster. Honestly, I think you would have better luck heading to New Jersey. I
know I said to avoid tunnels but the Lincoln tunnel is a little bit different
because it is well lit. Plus not even a scary monster would dare visit New
Jersey! That place is disgusting. For god sakes that’s where robot hell is!
Never run towards a monster or stand still near a monster.
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