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Breaking: JaVale McGee's Mom Still Loves Him

Anthony Schneck
SportsOlogy
4

The Washington Wizards have outdone themselves in the "abjectly awful play" department this season, even by Wizards standards. As a fan of the moribund franchise, this sort of season doesn't surprise or really phase me in any way because any idiot could tell you that a team featuring JaVale McGee, Andray Blatche and Nick Young would be pretty terrible. Any idiot except Ernie Grunfeld, that is.

JaVale McGee has attracted critics' attention recently, probably because he possesses immense talent and uses about three percent of it. SportsOlogy has been among those critics, because the Wizards have kept this sh*tty youth core together for so long that they've murdered any possible trade value.

A Brief Sampling Of How Terrible McGee Is

Watch This: JaVale Throws Alley-Oop To Himself

But there's at least one person who's still a YUGE JaVale McGee fan: his mother, Pamela McGee. Washington Post columnist Mike Wise published a piece today on the faith Pamela has in her son. She calls him the "future of the NBA," and she's worried he might become accustomed to a "culture of losing." Well, at least one of those statements is true.

Pamela McGee's delusional, protective words about her son BEG for some armchair psychology, but I'll refrain because I don't have my degree yet. You'll have to read the article yourself, but apparently Ms. McGee loves the fact that her son has helped the Wizards lead the league in blocks while ranking 18th in rebounds. Hmmm, it's almost as though they have a center who abandons rebounding position in order to chase absurd rejections...

Basketball aside, it's nice to know that McGee can turn to someone for love. His mom loves him so much that she once kissed Dr. J on the lips because she thought it would help JaVale win the Slam Dunk contest:

There's your breaking news of the day: JaVale McGee's mom really, really loves him. I hope she doesn't read SportsOlogy.

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[JaVale McGee 'is not a knucklehead;' just ask his mom]

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