Just when you think that the world is a cold, bitter, rotten place, a rock devoid of love and happiness, you hear news of something like Michael Jordan's engagement and your entire outlook brightens. His Airness decided to propose to girlfriend Yvette Prieto recently, and we can only imagine it was a magical moment when she reached into his wedgie-free Hanes to discover an 84-carat diamond ring informing her that she would wed the best basketball player in history.
As a perhaps unintentionally hilarious/ominous tangent to the engagement announcement, Charlotte's WCNC reported that Jordan was spotted with New York Yankees legend Derek Jeter at a Bobcats-Bucks game on Monday. That's a good way to begin a relationship: Either Jordan was getting tips on how best to buy Valtrex clandestinely, or they both give autographed memorabilia to their one-night stands.
We admire Yvette for undertaking what should be a daunting challenge. She'll have to put up with boozing, gambling, womanizing, pathological competitiveness, and friendship with Charles Barkley if she wants to pursue monogamy in all its glory. It seems as though the millions of dollars and a life of luxury make marriage worth the risks.
So we wish the new couple good luck on their journey through a new stage in life, and we thank them for reminding us that true love does exist. Finally, since we at SportsOlogy care only about superficial qualities like physical beauty, we'll leave you with this picture of the happy couple to judge:
Maybe it's MJ's Secret Stuff that wooed Yvette? By the way, it's bullsh*t that you can't embed Space Jam videos:
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