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Chris Paul Traded To Lakers, Oh Wait, No He Wasn't

Anthony Schneck
SportsOlogy

F*ck ESPN. That's the lede. It's in vogue to criticize the Worldwide Leader, so perhaps we're bandwagon riders in that respect, but ghosts litter their website these days. When we say "ghosts," we mean, "sources." Sources have informed SportsOlogy that if ESPN really were the Worldwide Leader in sports, they would set a higher standard than recklessly reporting rumors while allowing corporate influences and conflicts of interest to ruin their journalistic pedigree. Leave the rumors to SportsOlogy. Oh yeah, Chris Paul was going to be traded to the Los Angeles Lakers, but the rest of the league owners protested, and now it looks like the deal is off.

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You may be familiar with this sort of deal-gone-sour from your fantasy league. One guy who has a pretty decent team (not quite championship material) targets a team that's totally out of the running and proposes a lopsided deal that will help win a title. Everyone else in the league sniffs it out, protests, and the deal dies. That's exactly what happened here, and we're certain SportsOlogy isn't the first leading internet voice to have made the connection.

The sticking point? THE NBA OWNS THE NEW ORLEANS HORNETS! The conflicts of interest conflict with each other; it's a Gordian Knot of conflicts. So -- try to follow this -- the NBA, which owns the Hornets, trades Chris Paul to the Lakers in a massive three-team deal which would have sent Paul to the Lakers, Pau Gasol to the Houston Rockets, and Lamar Odom, Luis Scola, Goran Dragic, and the New York Knicks' 2012 first-round draft pick to the Hornets. But the NBA pulled the plug on its own deal after owners complained. That's right, the NBA had to kill the trade that the NBA proposed because the other 29 owners didn't like it. So, um, how are they supposed to trade Chris Paul?

In case you were worried that the owners would become a bit more logical, thoughtful, and perhaps even compassionate after they stole millions of dollars from the players during the NBA lockout, this Beckett-esque saga should reassure you that the owners are just as sleazy as ever. 

They're stupid, too. Don't they know that Mike Brown is coaching the Lakers this year? He could NEVER win a title even if you gave him CP3.

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