At this point, we've trucked through our fair share of modeling reality tv shows — from the hell-hole that is Tyra Banks' tired, 9-seasons-too-many disaster of America's Next Top Model to VH1's dull pseudo-advertisement for Wilhemina Models in 2007's The Agency, and now with E!'s Scouted, each series neglects to show viewers, well, the reality.
After the opening credits show ladies like Nyasha Matonhodze, Magdelena Frackowiak and Lindsey Wixson on the runways (I KNOW!), the inaugural episode of Scouted opens by introducing us to the huge model-wrangling names like Page Parkes, Erin Olson, Scott Lipps, Michael Flutie and Dani Stahl, and quickly delves into the episode's two story lines in could-be models, Gillian and Jennifer. While Gillian — who was discovered at a casting in Dallas — questions the decision to leave her cancer-ridden father behind in exchange for a possible career, a gap-toothed Jennifer has to battle her controlling, villain-cast momager (a la Kris Jenner) with every decision — something that doesn't thrill her One Management, the agency that's looking to throw a few more names on its roster. Mind you, the goal of each model on the show is to get signed by One. My guess is that there can only be one winner (Spoiler Alert: I was right.)
This is where Scouted regresses into the cliche I was so desperately hoping it would sidestep — according to one wrangler, it's possible to tell if somebody will be successful within the first three seconds of meeting them, but don't worry — appearances aren't everything (HA! Just kidding. They're pretty much the only thing). Other cliches include phrases like, "She's got it!" and "She's a natural" and "I'm sure they think I'm some psycho stalker but it's my job to convince them that I'm normal."
We quickly skip over to an open call when it becomes clear that each episode will be loosely formatted in the same way — it opens with a meet-and-greet which is followed by a casting, where the main players in charge take digitals and measurements and discuss "potential" as though it's as tangible as a girls' hip size. Scott Lipps will then lay out the reality of the industry — once you're signed to One Management (or any other major agency, for that matter), you give up your right to make a decision — which inadvertently leads to the obvious swapping of suspenseful, melodramatic glares. This will segue into an overly dramatic [insert ridiculously personal plot line here] five minutes; this time, it's Jennifer's mom who's busy soaking up all the attention by crying on set. I can't help but roll my eyes when Dani Stahl and Julia Samersova are "there for her" and hugs are exchanged. In reality, casting directors and stylists don't give a shit about the model's crying mother — they care about getting the shot in a timely manner. That's it.
One Management ultimately decides not to sign Jennifer and chalks it up to timing in a staged procedure that's entirely bullshit — If an agency isn't going to sign you, they're not going to set up a meeting with the shoot's stylist, the photographer and a ton of casting agents from One to blow smoke up your ass for twenty minutes. They just tell you no. What's that saying with the door on your way out?
And of course, One signs Gillian, the 15-year-old wunderkind of sorts who, according to the agency, "just needs to shed a little bit of her baby weight." Though I can't tell if it was an attempt at being tasteful or not, the show did neglect to discuss any weight-related issues until the last 10 minutes, where Lipps would only say Gillian's body isn't perfect because at 5'9 1/4, she falls 3/4 inch shorter than the 5'10 semi-standard. Later, Stahl mentions that Jennifer has a 22-inch waist — something that made me cringe and think of all the young girls watching that, in that very moment, decided they also need a 22-inch waist.
Scouted can be a successful 8-episode series if producers can fight the urge to pin two conventionally beautiful girls and their families (one, sweet as a a saint, the other, complete villains) against each other via editing (the girls never actually meet each other) for only one to be signed. While the masses can appreciate the family vibe that seems to develop within the agency after just one shoot, it's just not the reality, and I'm sure manipulation of some sort will take hold in the next episode or so, even for a show that totes its authenticity as a redeeming quality. And if nothing else, Dani Stahl is one of my personal style icons, so getting to see what she's wearing in addition to how she styles editorial photo shoots is enough for me
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SumOlogy: Unsigned models are replaceable, Dani Stahl and her amazing hair are not.
Grade: 8/10
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