Science, I haven't asked a lot of you over the years. Sure, every so often I'll send you a letter requesting a robot companion or hover car or whatever, but at the end of the day, we cool. Today, however, I have to step in where your enthusiasm has eclipsed your wisdom. I've just received word that a team of European researchers is planning to construct ten lasers intended to "literally rip spacetime apart."
What the hell, Science?
Haven't we gone over this? Haven't I taken you through innumerable dimensional invasion scenarios? Do you not recall the sheer terror of the resonance cascade? Do you not fear Atlach-Nacha, the terrible spider that weaves its web between the worlds? Do we have to watch Event Horizon again? Science, I understand there's knowledge at stake, but there must be some things man was not meant to know.
Why is science tempting these dark secrets? In search of "ghost particles," which the researchers at the Extreme Light Infrastructure Ultra-High Field Facility predict will spill from their man-made hole in spacetime. These ghost particles would provide evidence for the existence of other dimensions as well as corroborate the theory that the vacuum of space is actually filled with virtual particles. I'll admit that this is good stuff to know--figuring out the composition of the universe is a noble endeavor--but seriously, Science. You give the Outsiders an inch and they'll take a mile. And by a mile, I mean all of our reality.
Please, people. Think of Black Mesa.
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