Gossip Girl Recap: Season 5, Episode 3 "The Jewel of Denial" (10/10/2011)
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So Serena and Charlie arrive back in NYC and Charlie is still trying to get out of the situation (but really not because she's greedy). Stupid girl should just disappear. It's pretty obvious she's going to be found out eventually. This won't end well. And she's just dumb. Things happen, she hangs with Serena and her fake mom finally finds out. But, she threatens to expose her as well, so it looks like Charlie will be sticking around a lot longer. Great...
Dan is still trying to help Chuck "feel" something, so he gets him a dog. That doesn't work. Nate is still busy with Elizabeth Hurley who hires him as an intern at the newspaper she works at. She just wants to f*ck him and he gets mad. Blah Blah. Can we PLEASE, just for once, give Chace Crawford a good storyline? That's all I ask. The only time he's even remotely in this show is when he's involved with Serena. And that was forever ago. I can't believe he hasn't left the show with the material (or lack thereof) that they've given him. Meanwhile, Dan's old author friend (forget the name, I'm a horrible person) wants Dan to take responsibility for his book even if it upsets people. Eventually, he does. Can't wait to see what drama comes from that sh*t.
Blair is still knocked up and wondering who the hell her baby daddy is -- Chuck or boring Prince Louis? DUH. We all know it's Chuck. She spends most of the episode worrying over some letter that tells her the truth. Dan tells her to open it and she finally does. She tells a clearly-heartbroken Chuck that Louis is the father. SHE IS LYING. WE ALL KNOW IT. And besides, how the hell can you get a paternity test done on your unborn child with DNA from the potential fathers? Come on now.
"There was a part of me that really wanted it to be yours." -Blair
WHY WOULD SHE SAY THAT? WHY AM I WRITING IN ALL CAPS? OMG.
PS. I F*CKING KNEW IT! I called that Dair had sex and what do ya know? Next week's promo shows Blair yelling, "You wrote that we had sex?!?" Granted it could be a lie, but still. I CALLED THAT SH*T. Oh, and apparently Dan made Nate "a little gay" in his novel. Interestinggggg. I think they should go with it.
SumOlogy: We need more Blair/Chuck and Blair/Dan scenes. Don't care about anything else going on.
Grade: 6/10
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