There is only so much joy and excitement that I can allow in a single day, and I've pretty much had my fill. The 2011 NFL season begins tonight, and I treated you to my YUGE NFC preview earlier today. That's all fine and dandy, and I am just as excited as the next guy for the NFL, but I can't help but mourn for the NBA. David Stern and the NBA owners have locked out the players and have stolen the souls of NBA fans around the world. WHY, David Stern, WHY do you delight in crushing organized labor with your iron -- bronze? titanium alloy? -- fist?
The worst part about the NBA lockout is that the two sides aren't anywhere close to an agreement on revenue. The good news is that the $7.6 billion gap is only half of ESPN's new deal with the NFL for Monday Night Football. Can't ESPN throw some money to the NBA? Come on, you guys; this would go a long way toward making everybody forget for at least two days that you're an evil corporation preparing for global domination.
While the beginning of the NFL lockout had me fearing for the season because of the antipathy each side harbored towards the other, my fears were eventually proven wrong. The NBA, though, looks to be in worse shape. Even NBA writers are trolling for the slightest bit of good news. Here's an example of a headline from ESPN's
NBA page right now: "
Good sign? Consecutive days of NBA bargaining." That's like saying, "Hey everybody, Kelly texted me back to say she hates my f*cking guts,
but at least she's talking to me. HOORAY!" It sounds desperate.
I'm sorry for ruining your happy Thursday with a reminder of all that is sh*tty in the world. Stay tuned for my article on Paletinian refugees later today! So remember that even though the NFL begins tonight, the NBA still has a long way to OH F*CK I HAVE TO GO THEY JUST FUSED PEYTON MANNING'S NECK INTO ONE GIANT BONE!
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