Royal Pains Recap: Season 3, Episode 1 "Traffic" (Season Premiere) (6/29/2011)
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For n00bz:
Dr. Hank left Brooklyn when his girlfriend dumped him and headed to the Hamptons to treat locals but mostly rich people. It’s like, “guerilla medicine.”
And recap:
Evan’s throwing a party for Paige’s return from Europe... apparently she hasn’t been checking in much since she left. Jill sent Hank a postcard from Uruguay about “big news.” Hank is apprehensive.
Then there’s a Hamptons Jitney bus crash! Hank, Evan and Divya check people on the bus. One fractured femur man, but the bus driver’s in critical condition. Hank gives us some medical exposition as he saves dude’s life. Jugular vein problems. Yay!
Dad apparently called Hank and Evan from prison.
At the party, Jill arrives – Paige can’t make it, having blown Evan off yet again. Womp womp. There is lingering sexual tension between Hank and Jill.
Oh, guys, Campbell Scott is here! His name is Boris, and he’s trying to get his pregnant ex-wife Marissa to sign a custody agreement. When she starts having pains in her pregg0belly, he calls Hank, even though they parted on bad terms last season. Hank examines Marissa, who says she’s afraid that Boris won’t accept the kid if he is male.
Meanwhile, Evan examines the recently-divorced Judy for allergies. There’s a rash on her leg. She still shares the house with her ex, and seems like she’s having a hard time.
Divya’s traditional Indian parents, who disapprove of her medical career and tried to give her an arranged marriage last season, come to visit the Hamptons. Things are tense at their formal brunch. She apologizes for running out on them. Is this really offensive to anyone else? Her parents apologize for choosing Raj as her partner. I don’t think they get it.
Hank examines Judy again, who still has a rash and is afraid that things will never get back to normal with her friends since the divorce. She’s throwing a party and putting a lot of pressure on herself to get back to normal. Hank tells Judy that she has deep vein thrombosis and needs to cancel the party and go to the hospital or else she may die. Fail!
Divya meets her parents at a country club, only to find that they have arranged for her to meet another suitor. Fail x2.
Hank and Evan eat the romantic dinner meant for Evan and Paige, who postponed her return to the Hamptons again. Evan decides to write her an email.
Jill and Hank catch up re: Uruguay, which the writers clearly didn’t research enough, as evidenced by generic lines like: “I vaccinated whole villages, I saw a lot.” She plans on going back, because there is nothing for her here. Except Hank, and his d*ck. They bang. #mixedsignals
In the middle of the night, Hank gets a call – Judy checked herself out of the hospital to have her party. He drives over. She bitches about her ex, and then collapses. Thrombosis! Hank saves her, with the help of an oxygen tank that has mysteriously appeared in her living room.
Divya apologizes to her parents again, but tells them that she wants to choose her husband. Her dad threatens to cut her off. Snap.
Hank stops by the hospital to check in on Judy. They talk about how breaking up is hard to do. I think someone wrote a song about that once. “It gets better,” Hank says, clearly unaware that this is now a gay teen slogan. Or aware.
The Hamptons hospital offers Hank a job and he turns it down because he wants to keep occasionally helping #thepoors.
Evan and Hank mope. Paige hasn’t responded to Evan’s email. These men are insufferable.
Boris asks Hank back to Shadow Pond on Marissa and her unborn child’s behalf. Aite! They move back in. Paige appears, says she wanted to respond to Evan’s email in person, and kisses him.
Divya tells Hank and Evan she needs to crash at Shadow Pond for awhile.
Le fin.
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