The world
churned earlier this week when troubled 19-year-old teen mother Janelle Evans
of Oak Island, North Carolina was seen in a viral brawl, first appearing on
TMZ, with local native Britany Truett over a supposed affair involving her
current lust, one Kieffer Delp, who is currently imprisoned in the North
Carolina penal system (let it be noted here that the father of Jenelle’s child,
Jace Evans [estimated to be 1.5-years-old], known as Andrew Lewis, has
abandoned the circumstance involving the birth), and having seen the incident
through multiple media outlets, ambitious lesser-known psychologists have been
supposedly investigating the MTV celebrity’s possible psychological conditions (it is here
I must note that all information stated in this investigation is not fact nor
hypotheses, but simple rumor passed to me via sources that can only labeled as
scientifically unreliable when it comes to proving theory. Therefore, all
statements in this article are now legally being labeled as the
product of rumor).
As has been seen
on the MTV series Teen Mom, mother Jenelle Evans has been depicted as the product
of impaired personal judgment, and has been lauded by the viewing audience
for her unpredictability, and spontaneous fits of rage. Due to the
aforementioned outbreaks and acts of both verbal and physical violence,
speculation of underlying mental conditions has been a topic of interest,
though it has been documented that Evans has no known psychological disorders.
However, the psychological community is a curious one, and through sources of
sources that I am unable to state the names of, an interesting theory is now
surfacing exclusively here for the first time as to why Jenelle Evans inflicted violence on Britany
Truett in the video display.
Calcitritosynthesis and the Lateral
Orbitofrontal Cortex
Supposedly, a
janitor at the local library in Calypso, NC informed a source of mine of an
article published in the 1847 edition of the Malta weekly journal titled Deciphering Soil: What Seeps Through The
Coralline Limestone that details the mysterious process of
calcitritosynthesis (by definition, calcitritosynthesis is an exceptionally
rare circumstance where atmospheric gases collect in subterranean limestone
caverns and develop a corrosive quality over thousands of years; this can be
seen in an illustration in the Florida
Journal of Sinkhole Studies August 1973 issue).
According to
supposed population studies in various areas worldwide that sit over complex limestone
caverns, particularly in low-habitation areas similar to Oak Island, NC, these
compressed calcitritosynthritic gases, under specific atmospheric conditions
and post and prior equinox gravitational draws, can escape from limestone hollows through
ground-level cavity vents, and are known for having unusual effects on the human cognitive
processes, specifically in the lateral orbofrontal cortex if the subject is
given to a long enough period of exposure (the estimate is 4-5 hours).
Jenelle Evans and the Mental Sinkhole
The “Fight or Flight” instinct in the scientific community is a psychological
reaction centered in the locus of the Sympathetic Nervous System, and is often
related to the simultaneous recall of related memories in the Hippocampus; in
the occurrence of the fight between Jenelle Evans and Britany Truett, it is
clear that the “fight” instinct was chosen rather than the latter, and may have
been further encouraged by the violent push impressed upon Jenelle by Brittany
Maggard (as can be seen in the video).
As was mentioned, the low populous area
of Oak Island, NC (population 6,571 according to the 2000 census) is a
speculated hotspot for calcitritosynthritic
gases, and due to having been born two days prior to the Autumnal Equinox on
September 22, 1992 (Jenelle Evans was born September 20th 1992), the
atmospheric conditions and slight gravitational drift in process may have
dispersed gases from limestone cavities, and thus, have had a direct effect on
the post-birth psychological development of Jenelle Evans. Long-term exposure
may have furthered the oblong psychological growth over a period of time, and,
under completely un-credible scientific rumor, induced mental inconsistency in
the lateral orbitofrontal cortex. In this circumstance, her
unconscious may have been trained to lean more toward the “fight” instance
of the “fight or flight” decision, especially in seasonal change, and the
recent Vernal Equinox (March 20, 2011) may be suspect as the culprit behind
Jenelle’s violent outburst recently broadcast throughout mass media.
Closing Note
I must stress
again that all statements made in this article are in fact not statements at
all, and are derived from information provided by sources completely lacking in
scientific credibility. This is nothing more than simple speculation with no
defamatory fact or hypotheses implied, and any accusations of libel will be
firmly denied on these bases.
JT Langley
The Journal of the Psychological Study of
the Human Brain and Limestone
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