Hey America,
Me again. Jack. How have you been? I hate to beat a dead horse, but you've been very bad lately. I let you slide with Takers, after all that was an unknown quantity (and it featured Russell "Stringer" Bell, so I don't blame you for thinking it might be good), but now you've gone too far.
Resident Evil: Afterlife made approximately $27 million this weekend.
This is a problem.
Resident Evil: Afterlife is the fourth movie in this franchise. Four. You idiots have seen three of these movies already (itself a problem) and yet you still go see number four. In fact this one made more than any other movie in the series. How is that possible?
Look, I understand that the franchise has diehard fans, but lots of franchises do and don't make money (*cough* Scott Pilgrim *cough*). The fact is diehards aren't the problem. They're going to come regardless, a movie's box office is made or lost on the average person. You, America. When you go see a movie you're voting for it. You're standing up and shouting, "Hey Hollywood! This is the type of movie I want to see!" America, you voted wrong this weekend, and now we all must suffer the consequences. It's been announced that there will be a fifth Resident Evil movie. FIVE! What? Look what you've brought upon us! I beg you, in the future, just don't go see a movie when the weekend slate looks bad. Don't vote for anything. Because sometimes, like this weekend, you make the movie theater a little bit sadder, terrible place.
Please consider this America. I beg you,
Jack Moore
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