Some specialize in drugs, house cleaning products, bug repellent and/or experimental disease vaccinations.As a victim of food truck fraud, here are a few signs that there's more than just beans and cheese in the burrito you're ordering from Jimbo & Sons Dinner on Wheels:1) There's no logo on the truck. As sweet as Maria may sound, do not trust her if the truck she's driving looks like a stolen u-Haul painted over to deter the cops. Who cares if she informs you that her business has simply recently been launched in an attempt to raise funds for her the civil rights of ladybugs. No logo = Impending food poisoning. And a Dollar Store sticker on the dashboard of the vehicle does not count Maria.2) It's being sold on private grounds. A truck that pulls into a school parking lot to sell goods is sketchy. An old man behind the wheel with his pants at his ankles is sketchier. Never trust an intruder, especially not one with something to offer. I bet every terrorist carries around a contract to better your credit, but you ain't fooling me Mister.3) The food is served on a plate. What the f-ck? If not-so-fancy McDonald can wrap my meal in plastic then who do you think you are? Huh? MARIA?! It doesn't matter what the temperature is outside. A customer's roadside burger should always be wrapped in a warm, uncomfortable blanket (straight jacket?). Especially if the chef has the audacity to deliver it with his bare hands, which brings us to...4) The staff isn't wearing gloves. Actually, you know what, this one's okay. As long as Chef Ronald doesn't have pneumonia then it's all good. Personally I'm all for a fair society. If I'm not wearing gloves, why should you have to? The FDA health and safety regulations are just a bunch of horse vomit made up by The Man. The Full Man. We the people are hungry.Note: The use of the name Maria is not in any way meant to demean Mexicans or Hispanics. There could easily be someone out there named Maria Smith. Maria Jenkins. Maria Heisenberg. Flows just fine.
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