In honor of Mad Men’s
triumphant return last night, and thanks to Box Office Mojo’s oddly
specific genre categories, today’s Media Math will break down the top
ten movies (by box office) starring or featuring a “womanizer, cad, or
player.” If Roger Sterling were here right now, I’m sure he’d be saying
something pithy and hilarious. What's that? Roger? You are here and want to comment? Fair enough...
Warren Beatty wants to
be a star hairdresser and open his own salon. He’s got the talent, but
his libido gets in the way as he sleeps with his primary investor’s
wife, mistress, and daughter at various points throughout the film.
America apparently loved it.
Roger Sterling’s Take: I loved Shampoo’s
surprise twist. The hairdresser likes women.
9. Ghosts of Girlfriends
Past -
$55,250,026
Matthew
McConaughey stars in a film that answers the question, “What if Charles
Dickens had written a really bad romantic comedy instead of A Christmas Carol?” The answer? It will
make a lot of money despite being terrible (27% on RottenTomatoes).
RS:
True story,
the same thing happened to me the night before my wedding to Jane. I
blame gin.
8. Boomerang - $70,052,444
Wait a minute. Boomerang is about an
advertising executive, who is a womanizer? I’ve never heard of such a
thing. This Eddie Murphy rom-com was met with a decided “meh” by critics,
but the people still came out to see it. As always the moral of the
story is that people are dumb.
RS: (Author’s note: Roger
got a little racist here, so let’s just move on.)
With Bridget Jones, Hugh Grant makes his
first of two appearances on this list as a cad (which I’m pretty sure
just means he’s a British womanizer). I have to say of all of the
charming men in these movies, Hugh is the only one that makes me
consider changing team- you know what, never mind.
RS: I hate the British.
Here’s Hugh Grant’s
other appearance. This time he’s left England and is now seducing women
with his suave-yet-dorky charm on American soil. You can’t blame Sandra
Bullock for falling for him though. How can anyone resist that smile. Or
the accent. Or... You know I probably should just move on.
RS: I seriously hate the
British.
When you take Drew
Barrymore’s whole “I’m like the Memento guy, except it’s funny” thing, and combine it
with Adam Sandler playing the biggest ladies man in Hawaii, I don’t
think we’ve ever seen a more realistic film.
RS: I would never watch this movie.
Jack Nicholson’s 2003
romantic comedy was widely praised by critics and was one of the year’s
biggest hits. I have not seen it. Ever since On Golden Pond scarred me, I’ve
avoided old people romance movies, Up excepted of course. That said, it’s
supposedly good.
RS: I love the beginning. Then he goes and trades
in a rotating stable of Cadillacs for an Oldsmobile. Absurd.
In a future Media
Math I’m going to go through a large selection of genres and see how
many of them have a Will Smith movie in their top ten. I’d bet at least
20. At least. (Definitely more than co-star Kevin James.)
RS: Shocking. Campbell’s wife is apparently not
the only beautiful woman who falls for weird looking guys.
I think if the last
two weeks have taught us anything, it’s this: what women want is Mel
Gibson. I must admit I guiltily love this movie.
RS: In fairness to Mel,
hearing that weird, fake British accent his girl has when she talks is bad enough. But to hear it all the time? I’d have yelled a lot too.
Does any recent, huge
movie hold up worse? I loved this when it came out, but only five years
later and I can’t even get through it. Christopher Walken is doing a bad
impression of himself. Vince Vaughn is just doing his Vince Vaughn
shtick. Owen Wilson’s depression comes across as a little too close to
life. The only thing that has gotten better with age is Bradley Cooper’s
performance as Sack (which also wins the award for villain with the
weirdest name).
RS: I would never, ever lie to get a woman in
bed with me. Mostly because I don’t have to. The truth has worked pretty
well for me.
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