So since Hurricane Sandy hasn't managed to destroy the one thing that I love most—my massively charming and alarmingly cunning wit—I'm going to keep stroking this keyboard the same way I would a lover: gently and passionately, yet constantly reaffirming that it is my bitch. ABC has given full season orders to two of its newer series: the first being the Kerry Washington drama Scandal, which will soon be only Shonda Rhimes' second television show on the Alphabet, what with Private Practice on the way out and Grey's Anatomy still finding new ways for Patrick Dempsey to assault your ovaries after all these years.
The second, more perplexing full season pickup belongs to The Neighbors, inexplicably the network's biggest freshman hit despite the fact that its premise—a single-camera comedy about a family of humans who find themselves in an alien-filled suburbia—is literally the most baffling idea to hit the airwaves since Mark Wahlberg made a show about four drunk guys and it lasted six seasons. Despite its stupidity, the show's performance means that a) you'll be seeing more of it, and b) many Americans are just as stupid and horrible as other countries think we are. As far as other series goes, Last Resort and flailing 666 Park Avenue have been given the go for additional scripts, but nothing confirming a full season.
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