In the seminal television flashback episode, fans get a look at the early beginnings of their favorite characters, usually involving some inspirational moment that brings everyone together in some sentimental fashion. Of course, this is Workaholics we’re talking about here, so the beginnings of our favorite trio typically involves them being jerkasses to each other and a crap-ton of alcohol-fueled dickery. Throw in some weed-influenced shenanigans, and it's basically just another episode of Workaholics… but a damn good one at that. The best quotes below:
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"He’s not even a real magician—he’s an illusionist?"
"Ya gotsta have some titties, baby."
"You’re a really good actor. You’re like Sean William Scott; you’re at a Sean William Scott level."
"How do you feel? That girl's prolly gonna kill herself because I don't get to finger bang her!"
"I'm like the most popular dude in my high school now that I've graduated high school."
"Uh-oh guys! I wonder whose knick- knocking at my door? Who’s here right now, cause this is weird because all my friends are here. Could it be…The Napoleon Dy-no-mite?!!"
"Gosh! Gosh? Gosh!"
"You know what's not funny? Burning alive in the middle of the night because you didn't know your microwave was on fire."
"I’m remembering all your faces. I’m scanning them now."
"So that guy's gonna kill himself, right?" "Yeah."
"She's really the only chick that lets me make out with her until my tongue hurts. She's kinda my last shot at lifelong happiness."
"Think of something really sad really quick. Like a bundle of babies exploding. Or dogs exploding. Or maybe your mom's really sick or you walked in on a rape but you can't stop him because he's bigger than you."
"If I wanted a joke, I would turn on Mind of Mencia and I'd just laugh my shaft off."
"How about we celebrate my first night of college with a little finger sinning?! I wanna try two this time!"
"I love you so much—GIVE ME A BEER, BITCH!"
"I’m going to do this stirring monologue from Tim Curry in the quintessential film Congo—it’s an American classic."
"Woah, he’s pounding the beef out of her!"
"Is that like a swimmer thing?” “No, I didn’t expect him to do that also."
"I’m going to drink and have sex so much, I’m probably going to PUKE OUT MY DICK!!"
"You give your heart to someone, right? And then they just rip-it out; shit it right in the heart cavity area."
"When I was a toddler, I actually fell into a washing machine full of bleach and I didn’t get itchy at all. I did die though, for like four minutes. Doctors couldn’t believe how much brain damage I didn’t get."
"We're crazy religious; we always get on our knees. And pray to Jesus, not orally."
"What is up with your moobs?"
"You're off the chain." "Thank you." "No, I mean you're off the team." "What?"
"You know a lot of people try and suck their own tits. I can titty-f*ck myself."
"I swear to you, next weekend… I'm gonna finger bang you so good."
"He's a true talent. You should probably cast him in that miserable lesbian play you're doing."
"I'm not joking. You're growing tits."
"That was fun, you wanna do another story battle? I kicked your ass!"
"My dog actually exploded when I was a kid."
"Get your tits off this deck!"
"Hey, buddy. I couldn't help but overhear you being a lil' nervous Nelly Furtado."
"How about we celebrate my first night of college with a little finger sinning?! I wanna try two this time!"
"You play sports?" "Swim team." "So nope?"
"THERE ARE NO BREAKS! THIS IS COLLEGE!"
"I'm like the most popular dude in my high school now that I've graduated high school."
"I don't joke about love, Anders. I used to cut myself to Dashboard Confessional. I love love, okay?"
Sumology: I would not have minded if that Vanessa Carlton song played through the entire episode—because it’s that magical.
Grade: B+
Leftovers
It’s kind of surreal seeing a flashback episode set during a period that I remember pretty clearly. It’s kind of depressing that in 20 years, we’ll be seeing a host of nostalgic "coming of age" flicks set in the early 00s—and I’ll just feel old.
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