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Thanks to Internet sensations such as NickelBLOCK and the application that sorts out Nickelback fans on Facebook so that you can easily delete them, we've been able to identify and weed out those who so wretchedly proclaim themselves as Nickelback fans, and courtesy of one drunk dumbass who managed to fall into a gorge at a recent concert, we now have all the more reason to mock the grotesque allure the band places on the mentally defunct.
According to reports, 22-year-old Kevin Beaudette managed to take a 40-foot tumble down the Geyser Brook Gorge in New York while trying to sneak into Chad Kroger and company's concert at the Performing Arts Centre in Saratoga Springs, and thus proved himself to be the ultimate dumbass (I can say that because he didn't die) via this asinine act.
The center's president Marcia White released a statement on the matter: "Last evening an individual who appeared to be intoxicated, and who was outside the venue, apparently lost his footing and slipped down the embankment that runs along SPAC's Route 50 parking lot."
So, Kev here managed to pull off what is probably the most pathetic attempt anyone has ever made at breaching security to collect a prize, and will forever be known as the most loyal Nickelback fan, a title not even the lowest of criminals or beasts cast into the abyss of hell would be willing to wear.
Get well soon, Kevin, because life is going to sting much more than those cuts and bruises you earned.