'Degrassi' Recap: "Got Your Money, Part 2"

07/25/2012

Exclusive: Watch The Fight Scene From "Say It Ain't So, Part 1"

Previously on Degrassi, Zig doesn't know how to please Tori and Dave doesn't know how to please Eli and Dallas doesn't know how to please Fiona and Imogen doesn't know how to be gay. Like, does she have to kiss Fiona to do it? Because that's definitely not happening again. Sigh. Part 2!

Marisol, like we all figured, confronts Zig about the dine-and-dash, and wants 50 bucks in 24 hours for her bill and troubles and flattened hair. Zig doesn't know how to get her that money, which sucks because Marisol is dating Mo and is the captain of the Power Squad, which you all know Tori died to be on last season. And his band Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Rainbow Unicorns are supposed to be playing the dance this week! He better get that money fast!

Oh, that's why it's called "Got Your Money"!

Dallas is still trying to get in Fiona's butch-y pants and not gonna lie, he's getting more impressive by the scene. Imogen—who didn't even WANT to be a lesbian on Monday—is all of a sudden livid that Fiona is flirting with a guy, and even more upset that Fiona just decided she was a lesbian and they were dating. Fiona decides that she'll just let Imogen decide if they're dating, but Imogen better say yes because if Fiona doesn't get to be a lesbian than NO ONE DOES.

Dave is reading through that gay pamphlet that Becky gave him, and even if he knows it's bullcrap, Dave's slightly worried about what the school assholes will think. Alli's like "let's fix that by having sex!" which pretty much solves every single problem in life.

Zig and Tori are standing around at the Dance Ticket Booth and of course someone left the money right on the counter. After shooing Tori off, Zig swipes the cash because this will go perfectly right.

Eli, Dave, and Tristan are doing their photoshoot for Romeo and Jules and the hockey players absolutely hate anything progressive. Luke Baker tries to start trouble with Eli but Eli warns him that the school's about to get a whole lot gayer so calm down, this is only going to get worse from here. Which… makes sense?

Zig almost gets caught with the dance ticket money by THE DEGRASSI POLICE LOLZ, but then Tori and Maya stumble upon him trying to get rid of it. TORI FLIPS COMPLETE SHITS and Zig pouts and leaves. He just can't tell her he's poor yet! There's still 20 minutes left!

Fiona's bummed about the Imogen sexuality fiasco, and Dallas offers major help: just talk to the girl! Of course, he still charges her one more dance for his advice, which is creepy: is he trying to be her friend or her lover?

Zig's still bummed about being poor and his mom tells the absolute truth: your friends don't care if you're poor (so long as you're not ugly)! She gives him the 50 bucks and tells him to stop bitching and get to changing the world with Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Rainbow Unicorns.

Eli's at the dance just being Munro Chambers and he's got a present for Dave: the big gay Romeo & Jules poster! The hockey players are like HERE TO BE HATIN' and Dave's like NBD HAVIN SEX WIF THIS GURL TONIGHT and Ali's like UHHHH NOT ANYMORE. Which is weird, because isn't Alli supposed to be supporting Dave? Aw. Sad.

Imogen confesses that she'd like to be Fiona's girlfriend, but things have to go really slow. Then she starts making out with her in front of Dallas, basically. Dallas gets so excited in his pants that he no longer needs to get in Fiona's!

Zig finally confesses everything about being poor to Tori just before Joseph and The Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat Rainbow Unicorns goes on and it literally sounds like pink skies and fluffy clouds and fairies crapping out glitter and fountains of sparkles and singing ponies and flying bunnies and joy and sitting Indian-style in a circle around a giant tree made of flowers and birds made of rainbows.

Eli tells Dave to go have sex with his girlfriend and stop being a sensitive beyotch. So he does! (What you probably should know is that they did it without a condom, but Alli was on the pill, and this obviously means that Alli will be pregnant by the end of Season 12 so get ready for that.)

Tori tracks down Zig and SURPRISE! She's not a poor person hater! She's a poor person lover! Awwwww.

SumOlogy: People are having so much sex this season.

Grade: B-

Leftovers

I'm really not sure that Alli is the girl to make pregnant on the show. I love her! I don't want her to become the next Manny or Liberty.

I hate that the Hockey boys are pretty much here just to be assholes, even if nice guys like Dallas and Campbell exist as good guys.

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