Last time on Pretty Little Liars, something something boobs danger something. You're all caught up!
So Hanna's at home just lying to her mom like usual when Detective Wilden shows up for her blood—he thinks it might match the blood found on Ali's ankle bracelet. The other girls are worried that 'A' is trying to lure Hanna into a trap and Hanna's worried that she might've actually killed Jenna and forgot about it, cuz, you know, she's a friggin' ditz.
Aria, Spencer, and Emily meet a new girl in town, who wastes zero time announcing that she's a whore who once dated Jason DiLaurentis. Ali never mentioned her to the girls, and I figure that's because Ali never really liked girls sluttier than her. Or not sluttier than her. Ali just hates girls anyway, the girls get all nervous because she's creepily alike The Dead DiLaurentis and Emily believes SHE CAN SEE INTO YOUR SOUL which makes sense because just kidding.
Aria's mom got a hot date and of course Aria gets straight to hating. Why won't you let Holly Marie Combs be great??
Spencer's saving the world with her MacBook when Toby shows up and Spencer's like WHO TF ARE YOU and Toby's like YOUR BOYFRIEND and Spencer's like I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN BY THAT and Toby's like I'M THE GUY YOU USED TO THINK WAS A KILLER and Spencer's like OH and that's that scene.
Maya's cousin—who's still on the show for some reason—shows up with gifts for Jenna, who he's dating. And you KNOW Emily hates whenever people are nice and do good things, so she's naturally all stressed out about it. What if they get along?!
'A' leaves a cryptic Ouija board in Hanna's kitchen because of course Hanna didn't lock the goddamn door when she left. She starts freaking out and Aria's begging her to calm down because she doesn't understand much of anything. Cue flashback: Mona (before she went all crazy) and Hanna are using the same Ouija board to contact dead Ali, and the board told them she was alive. Even game boards are pretty little liars in Rosewood! The board was in Ali's grave, which is so weird seeing as its literally right in front of them.
Jason DiLaurentis is furiously running away from his shirt sleeves when Spencer stops to interrogate his feelings. He's all upset because the bracelet trick didn't work, and now he's done looking for Ali's killer and back to working on his deltoids. Spencer brings up Cece and how intense she is and Jason's like "yeah, you should try her in bed. K bye."
Cece suggests that Emily tell Maya's cousin about how much Jenna sucks and Emily's like "great suggestion, I love ruining people's good intentions."
Ella's date turns out to be Ted, the pastor guy that rejected Hanna's mom last week. Awkward!
Aria heads over to the insane asylum to visit Mona because apparently we can do that again now. Mona seems cheery!
Ali's father is in Rosewood now because Season 3 is Everyone Who Has Ever Left Rosewood Returns season. Hanna and Spencer both are like "eh, he looks old. Not hot at all. Anyway, what about our dangerous lives?"
Emily comes clean and successfully fails to ruin Maya's cousin going on a date with Hanna. Listen, sometimes people are going to be nice and Emily's gonna have to deal with that.
Ted and Ella are dating and Ted's like "is this too much church talk? Am I being too charming? Is it Christ-like of me to want to make out all over your face?" and Ella giggles like a tween. This is fun!
Hanna tells Ali's dad that she's sorry for the past (for what, exactly, we don't know yet) but she has nothing to do with Ali's grave and Ali's dad says EF THAT YOU'RE AWFUL.
Aria tries to get more truths out of Mona as to who is trying to hurt the girls but this is Pretty Little Liars, not Pretty Girls Who Will Tell The Truth Eventually. Like, DUH, silly Aria! Hanna decides to take matters into her own hands, which usually involves breaking into buildings because Hanna's just that reckless and impatient. Like, this just would not wait until tomorrow, you guys.
Emily's still sad about nice people and Cece can fix that: she calls Jenna and pretends to be Nate's pissed off girlfriend. Cece literally fixed Emily's giant problem, and the only reason Emily is still upset is because Emily has to be upset. She just has to be bothered by something, every time, all the time. Every. Week.
Ella starts flirting with Emily's boss (Zach), which I completely saw coming and am in FULL support.
Aria and Hanna find Mona and it's flashback time! Hanna did something really bad and THIS is what she was apologizing for earlier! The night she and Mona played Ouija, she thought she saw Ali alive and called her mom, and her dad hates her for it.
Spencer's driving in the middle of the night because she's just not scared of any 'A's out there, and when she sees Jason get in a crash, she whips out her MacBook and gets to saving the world! Kidding, she just drives Jason to safety. But when she gets home, Wilden is right behind her, because he found her car. Keegan Allen decides it's a good time to start ACTING! and lies to the police for her, saying that they were together all night. That's like DOUBLE ACTING! for him.
Aria and Hanna are still at The Haunted Mansion and when they find Mona, she's fully gone bonkers. She still gives zero help to them, calling Maya a waste of space and Garrett a loser. Well, I mean, she was right about one of those.
Ella checks in with Aria about her one awesome date that turned into two while Emily stares through windows at Nate. Hanna can't sleep because it's 11:38 and there's a doll staring at her. THEN SHE REMEMBERS THE CODE THING I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE WAS WORTH MENTIONING. Mona sent them crucial messages: "No one to save Ali from evil", which means NOT SAFE. Another clue leads them to a website with Maya's face on it which asks for a password. DAMMIT MONA WHY'D YOU LEAVE THE CRUCIAL PART OUT?!
Leftovers
"Is she a bitch or something?"
"She's a slut. Let's just go to sleep."
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