Drew wakes up in his boxers because this is television and we need teenage skin. Adam and Dallas have cleaned up the party, though, so no harm, no foul, nothing lost. Except Drew, who's searching and can't seem to find HIS VIRGINITY! BA-ZING! FIRST ONE OF THE NIGHT, PEOPLE, GET THE HECK IN!

Clare and Eli are happily reunited and it's the type of joy that makes me want to make out with homeless people. Seriously?! JOY TO THE GODDAMN WORLD.

Maya used those bra pads alls wrong and Tori can fix this, she's an expert in BREASTS! Tristan's like "ready for your audition, gwhorlfriend?!" and Maya's like PUMPED! BECAUSE THAT'S A DOUBLE ENTENDRE AND I HAVE BREAST PADS! Basically, she was joking but he'd never get it.

Katie is screaming sunshine and shitting rainbows because Drew stuck his thing in her thing and Drew literally throws up at the thought of this. I can't even make that up- how great is this show?!

Clare has to cancel her date with Eli because something something writer's interference. Meanwhile, Imogen is singing a duet with her water glasses to audition for Mo's band and Mo, again, gives a crisp clean NOT WITH THAT FACE AND THAT WEIRDNESS. Maya's breasts are up next!

Drew is questioning everything in life like WHY AM I SO ATTRACTIVE and WHY DID I HAVE SEX WITH KATIE and WHERE'S MY DIGNITY and Dallas doesn't care at all. Sigh. #DrewProblems

Maya's boob dropped and I thought that only happened to boys during puberty.

Drew is still running around questioning everything in his newfound sex life and Adam pretty much says what I was thinking: IN WHAT WAY IS THIS A PROBLEM?! Except now he can't break up with Katie, not after he just threw his slinkie all up and down her stairs. (The stairs is her vagina.)

Maya's still SO MAD AT HER BREASTS FOR FALLING OUT but Tori says "some problem you have, I failed fourth grade, I'm a complete failure." So they're even?

Perfectly Christlike Boyfriend Eli announces that he got tickets for Arcade Fire tonight but Clare's worried because the Degrassi writers perfectly planned a time conflict. And even though in real life, Eli would probably be like "dats cool, you so cute when you worried girl, lets sex later", Clare gets all ARGH ANGUISH and promises Eli she can multi-task.

Mo really needs Maya in the band because she's talented. Not because she's more flat-chested than a Monopoly board. Owen's such a dick but Maya tosses her fake boob at him and he is so shocked. Maya wins!

Clare gets to her co-op and it's very clear that she's not making her date.

Katie and Drew are on a date (BECAUSE WHAT?!) and while Katie has dancing unicorns flying around her head, Drew finally, finally dumps her. And Katie goes FULL BATSHIT WE-HAD-SEX-YOU-DICK CRAZY! But of course there's a silver lining: he asks Katie not to tell Bianca what they did. Which, of course, will last about ZERO minutes.

Clare miraculously finishes all of her work and her boss says NOT SO FAST BIG JOURNALISM OPPORTUNITY and she finally has to call Eli and let him down. And he's totally cool with it, like I freaking told you he'd be.

Drew's all bummed because of that time he literally destroyed Katie's hopes and dreams and vaginas (wait, she's only got one of those). Marisol drops what might be her best line ever ("It's the liar, the bitch, and her slutty wardrobe!") and Drew warns Bianca not to listen to Katie especially when she tells her that they had sex because it'll be the truth. And this is Degrassi, so who wants that?!

SumOlogy: Happy EClare = Happy ME! And I love douchebag Drew. Can't help it.

Grade: B-

Leftovers

"Are my clothes really that slutty?"

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Terron R. Moore

Degrassi