There's nothing worse than plannin' out a rockin' celebraish, complete with BL 'Nums, ML Margs, Crown, dirty 30s of Busch, bikini babes, bratato salad, 'Ritos Locos Tacos, chips 'n dip, Koegels (full spread, the works really), only to have some corncob DJ ruin everything with bad tunes.
Luckily, that's where DadBoner, ol' Captain Karl Welzein, comes in.
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DadBoner put up another CraigsList Ad this week, advertising his new enterprising small business venture (Dave is a limited partner). DJ DadBoner, "The Captain," as he calls himself, is available to bring WLZN to your next celebraish. Here's the text of the ad, since we're suspicious that CraigsList might take it down on account of it's too rockin':
Are you tired of corncob radio DJs ruinin' YOUR celebraish? Sick of bein' blackout drunk on booze and thinkin', "Hey, what's this horsecrap they're playin'? I wanted to rock?!" Let Bad Boy City Entertainment come and crush everyone's face in with hot jams that keep the party goin' with the heat of a thousand suns. Bad Boy City Entertainment is your #1 provider of personalized radio listening from coast to coast that'll have the chest beefers heavin' and the babe's cabooses shakin' all night long. Our mobile party station, WLZN, is like havin' a private DJ, right in your own home. Why? Because you're gonna, with The Captain! In the past, The Captain (AKA Karl Welzein, President and CEO of Bad Boy City Entertainment, USA) has rocked work gatherings as well as important 4th of July "adults only" functions, like Crazy Cooter's 2012 Independence Jamboree. From Whitesnake, to Kid Rock, to Bob Seger; The Captain only plays the hits that EVERYONE craves 24/7 in the USA. And if you need it slowed down to get in the mood for steamy carnal passions, look no further than the "Love Zone" where you'll hear hits from Billy Ocean, and possibly more? So the next time you need it turned up or turned out, hire WLZN, comin' atcha live and direct with The Captain!
The Captain is available for kids parties (if they're not all loud and crap and maybe some single moms are around, just for good convos, nothin' serious. But if it turns into an after hours private celebraish situaish, we're all adults here and can keep it consensual, one on one style.), weddings, divorce parties, bachelor parties, bachelorette parties, holidays, weekends, everything really. Rates are negotiable depending on the gig. Say, if you've got a full spread of eats and booze that The Captain is free to enjoy? Then it's probably cheaper. Or if there's smokin' babes on the scene in bikinis? Let's talk about it. But say if it's for your kid's soccer picnic or some crap where no one wants to be there anyway and the eats don't have bold flavors and there's no booze and a bunch of kids are runnin' around doin' magic and everyone's all steamed, then I'll probably just send Dave or somethin' and you can work out the pay as long as he gives me money for batteries in the boombox.
So remember, the next time you wanna rock, it's not really a celebraish, unless it's with the Captain, you guys.
USA.
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