This is exactly what happened the first time Furbies came around: Everyone who could bought them, leaving the poor kids and kids with lazy parents feeling left out and heartbroken. These feelings would eventually graduate to deep psychological trauma where the child develops a low sense of worth. This leads to drugs addiction, alcoholism and the surrounding of less than positive friends.
Of course, the kids that did get a Furby (or two!) loved them for a while and played with it but soon lost interest. They would toss the Furby either under the bed or in the farthest reaches of the closet (just before Narnia). Except that Furby didn't die. It would come alive, mostly on stormy and scary nights when the child is most vulnerable. It would call nonsensical baby talk from the dark like an invisible demon out for bloodlust and maniacal attention. These kids would develop a continuing sense of fear which would turn into little to no risk taking in life, resigning to a metaphorical cage.
Clearly, Furbies ruined everyone's lives.
So what do they do? The man brings it back just in time for the holiday season. The only way this would be a benefit is if they decided to also create a Jingle All The Way 2 that involved Furbies. And yes, Arnold would HAVE to be in it.
Of course, the Furby 2.0 (666.0 if you ask me) is packed with all sorts of cool new gizmos. One, the eyes are LCD (creepy). The lil' guy moves around easier and dances to the Eurythmics. It can change personalities (ALSO CREEPY). The best part about it is clearly the fact that you can now turn it off. Still, if all those animatronic upgrades give you a 90s nostalgia boner, don't forget that you can get an iPad App with it! You can feed it (this machine that actually does not need to eat but who cares because f*ck you). In the video the guy says that maybe kids will actually learn how to speak Furbish. Here's what I say to that.
NO. YOU GET OUT. YOU GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID.
If I actually hear a child speak Furbish I will go on such a rampage even Charles Manson would find disgusting.
Also it's $60. So if you buy it, remember that you'll probably be throwing $60 in the closet or under the bed just like last time.
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