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One-Liner Analysis Of The USA Olympic Men's Basketball Team

Anthony Schneck
Dream Team
2012 Olympic Games

The days of the Dream Team are long gone thanks to foreigners stealing basketball and becoming good at it. So unfair. Still, the USA should dominate men's basketball at the Olympic Games in London this summer, and to that end the final squad was announced this morning. These are the guys who will defend the USA's gold medal from 2008, but rather than going all in with an analysis, we'll tell you everything you need to know in a few pithy phrases.

GUARDS

Kobe Bryant, Lakers 

Kobe doesn't really care for pictures, it looks like, but he'll be fine as a defensive stopper.

James Harden, Thunder

I thought he died right after Game 1 of the NBA Finals.

Chris Paul, Clippers

David Stern almost sent Paul to play for Cuba, but vetoed it at the last second.

Russell Westbrook, Thunder

I guarantee you Westbrook will break the Olympic record for field goal attempts in a game and in the tournament. And I don't even know what the record is.

Deron Williams, Nets

Benchwarmer.

FORWARDS

Carmelo Anthony, Knicks

The best ball-stopper in the Olympics.

Kevin Durant, Thunder

Woah, the Thunder have three guys on this team. They must have won an NBA championship or something.

Blake Griffin, Clippers

He'll supply SportsOlogy with some highlight-reel dunks during the dog days.

Andre Iguodala, 76ers

Really? Why?

LeBron James, Heat

The best player alive.

Kevin Love, Timberwolves

Token white guy.

CENTER

Tyson Chandler, Knicks

I guess the team needs a center.

What do you think about the squad? Can they beat Spain? Isn't it funny that two New York Knicks are on the team?

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Follow on Twitter: @AnthonyOlogy |  @OlogySports

[ESPN]

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