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A celebration of the astonishing talent and douchebaggery of Bryce Harper.
• Created by: Bison Messink
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Bryce Harper 5-Tool Tool
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25 Things You Didn't Know About Bryce Harper
25 Things You Didn't Know About Bryce Harper
Bison Messink
432
Video: Bryce Harper Hit Himself In The Face With A Baseball Bat
Video: Bryce Harper Hit Himself In The Face With A Baseball Bat
Bison Messink
69
20 Previously Unknown Facts About Bryce Harper
20 Previously Unknown Facts About Bryce Harper
Bison Messink
59
Don Orsillo Is Douchier Than Bryce Harper
Don Orsillo Is Douchier Than Bryce Harper
Bison Messink
48
Pretty Soon You Can Buy An OFFICIAL
Pretty Soon You Can Buy An OFFICIAL "That's A Clown Question, Bro" Bryce Harper T-Shirt
Anthony Schneck
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Bryce Harper Has A Bat Rack In The Trunk Of His Pimped Out Benz
Bryce Harper Has A Bat Rack In The Trunk Of His Pimped Out Benz
Bison Messink
31
Bryce Harper All Star Game Boner
Bryce Harper All Star Game Boner
Bison Messink
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20 More Things You Didn't Know About Bryce Harper
20 More Things You Didn't Know About Bryce Harper
Bison Messink
26
Watch This: Bryce Harper Gets Pie To Face, Exclaims: 'Golly!'
Watch This: Bryce Harper Gets Pie To Face, Exclaims: 'Golly!'
Bison Messink
20
Watch This: Bryce Harper's Truck Is Almost as Awesome as Bryce Harper
Watch This: Bryce Harper's Truck Is Almost as Awesome as Bryce Harper
Anthony Schneck
12
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Steve commented on Don Orsillo Is Douchier Than Bryce Harper:
“You are an idiot. This is so classless. You are the one who comes out looking like the douchebag. Grow up.”
April 4, 2013

Damien and 2 others started following Bryce Harper 5-Tool Tool
April 4, 2013







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Bryce Harper Somehow Injures Giancarlo Stanton, Takes Spot In All-Star Game

Anthony Schneck
Bryce Harper 5-Tool Tool
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Washington Nationals outfielder and spiritual healer Bryce Harper has had a remarkable rookie campaign for a 19-year-old blue-chip prospect who's, well, kind of a tool. You could talk about his numbers -- .283 BA, 8 HRs and 25 RBIs after being called up -- but we prefer to discuss the intangibles Harper brings to the table. One of those intangibles is the bizarre injuries that have followed Bryce over the course of the season.

| Get Anything And Everything Bryce Harper Here |

Fine, maybe Giancarlo Stanton's knee injury isn't bizarre from a physical perspective, but from a metaphysical perspective, is it possible that Bryce Harper somehow wished surgery on Stanton in order to secure a place in the All-Star game just days before it's scheduled to be played? We're not saying it's not possible. We're not saying that at all.

Consider the following: Bryce Harper injured Mark DeRosa with a high-five. He injured himself with his own bat, then proceeded to go on a tear. The bottom line is that he's capable of nearly anything, so is it THAT unreasonable that Bryce somehow made arthroscopic knee surgery a necessity for the Marlins' Stanton? No. It's not.

Would you rather see Harper or Stanton in the All-Star Game? The answer, obviously, is Harper, because he's guaranteed to make at least one incredlible/unbelievable/boneheaded/douchey play during the game. He's the youngest position player ever selected for the game, and he's proved more than capable of rising to the moment. Pencil him in for MVP.

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Comments (1)

Bison profile picture
Bison Messink: Someone ought to ask Harper if hitting himself in the face with a baseball bat turned his season around.
July 9, 2012